Sunday, January 24, 2010
El Matador
Hadn't shot any pics in a while so I went to the beach up near Malibu searching for something to enlighten me. Let me know what you think - enjoy :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Golden Globes
It's definitely weirder being on this side of the proverbial fence watching an awards show when you've meet at least a dozen or so of the people that were on tv tonight [meet being used in the context of the professional sense].
It loses a bit of the luster - but it doesn't lessen the weight of the occasion.
Despite having accomplished nothing yet, it does make you feel like you belong...I'm aiming to make that happen.
It loses a bit of the luster - but it doesn't lessen the weight of the occasion.
Despite having accomplished nothing yet, it does make you feel like you belong...I'm aiming to make that happen.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Bon Nuit
per my previous post and despite all this unrest and unease [and regrettable loathing in self-pity which I hate more than anything] - I understand this is all a part of the process. sort of my own personal weeding out phase. When I think about what I'm on the cusp of there isn't any doubt as to what I'm doing.
Like the age-old adage: when your personal life goes to hell, you know you're doing something right...
...we shall see.
This came on the radio tonight. Cheered me up and made me think of better times. Figured it was only fitting in lieu of everything going on :)
Like the age-old adage: when your personal life goes to hell, you know you're doing something right...
...we shall see.
This came on the radio tonight. Cheered me up and made me think of better times. Figured it was only fitting in lieu of everything going on :)
Conflicted
So conflicted right now...
...I hate being at home. there's no one here for me [in LA]. the only place i want to be [all the time] is at work. but i'm limited in the number of days I can work there [or will allow myself to work until they bring me on full-time].
weekends used to be a brief oasis in the midst of a long work week. now i spite them.
I've learned that if you want to have the spotlight, you have to make people want to care...but when no one knows you exist who really cares? I'm working on the former while experiencing the later.
life is hard and i'm a tough son of a b____. after learning of further disappointment today, i know i can get through this...i know i can roll with the punches. then again - in my world - who's around to notice?
...I hate being at home. there's no one here for me [in LA]. the only place i want to be [all the time] is at work. but i'm limited in the number of days I can work there [or will allow myself to work until they bring me on full-time].
weekends used to be a brief oasis in the midst of a long work week. now i spite them.
I've learned that if you want to have the spotlight, you have to make people want to care...but when no one knows you exist who really cares? I'm working on the former while experiencing the later.
life is hard and i'm a tough son of a b____. after learning of further disappointment today, i know i can get through this...i know i can roll with the punches. then again - in my world - who's around to notice?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Outlook
Not sure what to make of this next year. One thing is certain, it will be an interesting one - and while I don't have time for self-pity I find myself in the uncomfortable position of indulging in it today.
Why? who knows - but one thing is certain. Over the past few years I've never been more isolated and alone in my life. Chasing after something that is singularly mine - no one can comprehend what it is I'm doing except me. And in the process it has cost me personally - making me nothing more than a distant memory in the minds of those who were once closest to me.
In time that will change, but for now I travel alone down an isolated boulevard of dreams. And in time they will remember, only to find I am no longer the person they once knew - instead wishing that they'd never let go -
Why? who knows - but one thing is certain. Over the past few years I've never been more isolated and alone in my life. Chasing after something that is singularly mine - no one can comprehend what it is I'm doing except me. And in the process it has cost me personally - making me nothing more than a distant memory in the minds of those who were once closest to me.
In time that will change, but for now I travel alone down an isolated boulevard of dreams. And in time they will remember, only to find I am no longer the person they once knew - instead wishing that they'd never let go -
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