For the past month and change I've been reading a lot of Chuck Klosterman - and I've started to realize that his stylized format of writing is something I really enjoy. Now, do I agree with everything he says? No - but I do enjoy the fact that he is someone who is willing to look at the scope of things from an angle which someone like me (ie straight-line thinker) never would.
In his book, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, there is an interesting question he poses at one point. It is as follows:
You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionable kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a full functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks. How do you spend the next fourteen days?
Although I've read this book several times since I bought it just over a month ago - this is a question I always look for and often think about. I try to imagine I am the person about to go into surgery - but then before I get started on the fourteen day trek to the operating room - I often ask myself a counter question:
Suppose the doctor told you that if you elect to have the surgery, there would be no certainty that the person who awakens from the drug induced sleep would be you. That there was a possibility that the person you were before the operation would cease to exist. Now how would you approach the question? Would you decide to live the next six months enjoying every moment you could? would you still elect to have the surgery because you value life - although there is a possibility that the person you know may never come out of that operation?
Furthermore, how would you look at life in the following days while you contemplate that decision? Would you be in a daze looking at the cracks in the sidewalk? would you look up around you and see the people above you looking at you? would you finally recognize the people who have always been there for you and loved you unconditionally even though you rarely (if ever) acknowledged their presence?
Obviously the answer is going to be different to everyone, but regardless life is something that is too valuable to take for granted. We often times waste our lives worrying about the unimportant - and although it would be nice to say that we are all ambitious enough to chase after the dreams that stir us to the core - not all of us have it in us to stand up and do what others could only dream of. Yet, if you were faced with the questions above - look at how you would have responded and approached the coming days of your life.
In short - stop wasting time. Live life for what it is - a gift. Love passionately, live intently, and approach life with purpose. Because what we may have today may be gone tomorrow.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
A Thanksgiving Memo
While thinking about it for the past few days I was contemplating what Thanksgiving has meant to me. As I thought about it for the first time I was stuck trying to realize what this day really means.
Every single Thanksgiving since I was born, my family has always been together on at least Thanksgiving and Christmas. And while I always looked forward to stuffing myself with turkey, laying sprawled out across the couch napping off the tryptophan hangover and having an intricate argumentative over whether the Detroit Lions can actually lose on Thanksgiving, I have to say that for once I’m not looking at the routine of the day.
Simply put, Thanksgiving means more to me this year than it has at any other point in my life.
Call me weak, call me empty, call me whatever you want, but a break from the routine is something that I need now more than anything. It’s not that I don’t love what I’m doing. I know that leaving who I was in Arizona to become what I am in Florida - despite the consequences and personal sacrifices - was the correct thing to do. I know that film is where my future lies, I know it’s where my passion’s at - I have the talent, the desire but most of all I care too much not to succeed.
Despite those personal reassurances I feel emptier now than I’ve felt in a long time. The mornings are hard, and the evenings are harder. Things often times seem bland and vanilla, and while I put my heart and soul into every project I partake in – I am constantly missing the self-gratification that used to accompany it.
Yet, I remain grateful for the experience. In the long run I know it’ll make me a better person, I know that I’ll learn more from it than any lecture could ever detail. But most of all, I know that when the world falls apart the only thing left standing will be the ones who truly care…the ones who will never quit on me…the ones who love me unconditionally.
And for that I am thankful.
Every single Thanksgiving since I was born, my family has always been together on at least Thanksgiving and Christmas. And while I always looked forward to stuffing myself with turkey, laying sprawled out across the couch napping off the tryptophan hangover and having an intricate argumentative over whether the Detroit Lions can actually lose on Thanksgiving, I have to say that for once I’m not looking at the routine of the day.
Simply put, Thanksgiving means more to me this year than it has at any other point in my life.
Call me weak, call me empty, call me whatever you want, but a break from the routine is something that I need now more than anything. It’s not that I don’t love what I’m doing. I know that leaving who I was in Arizona to become what I am in Florida - despite the consequences and personal sacrifices - was the correct thing to do. I know that film is where my future lies, I know it’s where my passion’s at - I have the talent, the desire but most of all I care too much not to succeed.
Despite those personal reassurances I feel emptier now than I’ve felt in a long time. The mornings are hard, and the evenings are harder. Things often times seem bland and vanilla, and while I put my heart and soul into every project I partake in – I am constantly missing the self-gratification that used to accompany it.
Yet, I remain grateful for the experience. In the long run I know it’ll make me a better person, I know that I’ll learn more from it than any lecture could ever detail. But most of all, I know that when the world falls apart the only thing left standing will be the ones who truly care…the ones who will never quit on me…the ones who love me unconditionally.
And for that I am thankful.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Surface of the Sun
Lately I've been watching a lot of the movie Sunshine.
(For those of you who haven't watched it - or don't know already - Dannny Boyle is by far one of my favorite directors. His vision and his cinematic composition are second to none and he's vastly underrated. He's one of the few directors I will go out of my way for to watch his film - even if it means going to the most obscure theaters to watch them. And he also collaborates with John Murphy who is quickly becoming the new John Williams [see the clip below])
Anyway, as I digress...for those of you who have not seen it - I consider it one of my favorites already. Could the movie have been composed better, I honestly don't know. I've looked and I've tried - but I love everything about it.
As a sci-fi junkie whose passion was initially stirred by the hallow Alien - I must say this movie evokes a lot of emotion from me, not because it's a sci-fi movie, but because there are so many things that are true about life in general. I will spare everyone the details of the later part. But in short - if you haven't seen it yet - I highly recommend that you rent it or buy it. If you know what to look for you'll see true brilliance throughout, but if you're untrained - don't worry because it's a movie that'll transport you from your everyday life...even if it's just for a little while.
(For those of you who haven't watched it - or don't know already - Dannny Boyle is by far one of my favorite directors. His vision and his cinematic composition are second to none and he's vastly underrated. He's one of the few directors I will go out of my way for to watch his film - even if it means going to the most obscure theaters to watch them. And he also collaborates with John Murphy who is quickly becoming the new John Williams [see the clip below])
Anyway, as I digress...for those of you who have not seen it - I consider it one of my favorites already. Could the movie have been composed better, I honestly don't know. I've looked and I've tried - but I love everything about it.
As a sci-fi junkie whose passion was initially stirred by the hallow Alien - I must say this movie evokes a lot of emotion from me, not because it's a sci-fi movie, but because there are so many things that are true about life in general. I will spare everyone the details of the later part. But in short - if you haven't seen it yet - I highly recommend that you rent it or buy it. If you know what to look for you'll see true brilliance throughout, but if you're untrained - don't worry because it's a movie that'll transport you from your everyday life...even if it's just for a little while.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Morning Showers
So often this crucial part of my life is something that I don’t ever think about and yet take for granted how important it really is. Every morning we walk into the bathroom and go about our daily routine – and in some order – it consists of brushing our teeth, applying deodorant, the swabbing of the ears, cologne, and most importantly, the ever so vital shower.
Today as I was walking the aisles of Target looking for some mouthwash, it occurred to me. How often do we ever correlate our morning showers to our daily lives? I mean, my shower here creates nice thick drops that feel amazing as they completely engulf you – yet later this week I’ll be stung by the sharp splintering showers of California.
(while, I understand that part of this assumption is skewed by the fact that certain states and areas restrict the flow of water –this also reinforces my argument since it also represents a place where we are when we feel this sensation.)
When I think back on how many different places I’ve been and the number of taken showers I've taken, the one constant has always been that in the morning how I feel when I get out of the shower has always had some impact on my day. I mean, will I be happy today – will I be irritable – will I be aloof - will I be petulant? I cannot say that the shower is directly responsible for how I will act, but I can say that it does have some influence over my attitude since it is among the first things I do when I wake up in the morning.
Anyway, it was just a passing thought I had – so I am throwing it out there to any of you who are reading this...
Today as I was walking the aisles of Target looking for some mouthwash, it occurred to me. How often do we ever correlate our morning showers to our daily lives? I mean, my shower here creates nice thick drops that feel amazing as they completely engulf you – yet later this week I’ll be stung by the sharp splintering showers of California.
(while, I understand that part of this assumption is skewed by the fact that certain states and areas restrict the flow of water –this also reinforces my argument since it also represents a place where we are when we feel this sensation.)
When I think back on how many different places I’ve been and the number of taken showers I've taken, the one constant has always been that in the morning how I feel when I get out of the shower has always had some impact on my day. I mean, will I be happy today – will I be irritable – will I be aloof - will I be petulant? I cannot say that the shower is directly responsible for how I will act, but I can say that it does have some influence over my attitude since it is among the first things I do when I wake up in the morning.
Anyway, it was just a passing thought I had – so I am throwing it out there to any of you who are reading this...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
12.85 - Crossing The Finish
I'm writing this as I sit in lab exporting our project for class and I'm reflecting on a few of the things that made this experience some kind of amazing.
From the start I knew David Oliver was who I wanted to do this project on. His career is a culmination of a string of disappointments accentuated by his refusal to quit when others thought he should. As he told me, four years ago if people thought he'd be in the position that he is in today he would have called them crazy. Yet, as his hard work paved the wave for his success, which rivals legends of the sport, he has earned the right to be considered an all-time great.
I wish I could upload the video for those of you to watch - but I will not do so until after David has seen it first. In the past two-weeks I don't think I've lost as much sleep over something that means as much to me as this has. It's been my inspiration, my motivation but most of all my salvation.
As I sit here and watch this project render, frame by frame, I look on at it with a sense of pride...but also with a sense of loss. As I watch on I cannot help but feel the effects as the one constant in my life over the past three months is being finalized before me. When I leave lab today, I know there will not be anything more to look forward to as this gift of an experience, that's been my guiding light through some of the hardest months of my life, reaches its conclusion.
Tomorrow a new dream will be my focus - but for now on today of all days - I'll sit here reflect upon what was and is one of the defining experiences of my career.
Thank you David Oliver.
From the start I knew David Oliver was who I wanted to do this project on. His career is a culmination of a string of disappointments accentuated by his refusal to quit when others thought he should. As he told me, four years ago if people thought he'd be in the position that he is in today he would have called them crazy. Yet, as his hard work paved the wave for his success, which rivals legends of the sport, he has earned the right to be considered an all-time great.
I wish I could upload the video for those of you to watch - but I will not do so until after David has seen it first. In the past two-weeks I don't think I've lost as much sleep over something that means as much to me as this has. It's been my inspiration, my motivation but most of all my salvation.
As I sit here and watch this project render, frame by frame, I look on at it with a sense of pride...but also with a sense of loss. As I watch on I cannot help but feel the effects as the one constant in my life over the past three months is being finalized before me. When I leave lab today, I know there will not be anything more to look forward to as this gift of an experience, that's been my guiding light through some of the hardest months of my life, reaches its conclusion.
Tomorrow a new dream will be my focus - but for now on today of all days - I'll sit here reflect upon what was and is one of the defining experiences of my career.
Thank you David Oliver.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Endeavour Launch
At approximately 7:55pm ET space shuttle endeavour blasted off into space. among the few hundred thousand in attendance who witnessed the night-sky exploded into radiant shades of white, yellow and orange were my roommate, a friend of ours and myself.
For me, in this extraordinary moment, one single event literally brought life back into perspective and made me appreciate what it means to be an American. In the wake of the elections last week - I have always had a great sense of pride in having the power to express my voice (regardless of if others think it can't be heard) to express my opinion and the opportunity to do so. Along those same lines, the patriotism that accompanies something as majestic and powerful as a Shuttle Launch, brings about words that cannot begin to recount the emotions that parallels an event of this magnitude - for those of you wondering - below is the video of what we witnessed last night...
Monday, November 10, 2008
12.85 - As I Run
4:31 am ET 11/12
with any luck this should be the "final" post for this thread, haha...
after spending what seemed like an eternity exporting the files from Final Cut (our editing suite) and burning some 5-DVDs (there was a problem with one of the comps) we finally got this thing right!!
I'm still waiting on the final rough cut edit to burn on my comp as we speak - but i feel confident in say this will be the last time i have to do anything tonight!
Looking back, I can't believe I just spent 2 1/2 days up working on this!! It's weird because I have been working on it non-stop since Sunday - but now that the dust is settling, it all seems to have flown by so quickly. I really don't miss the sleepless hours, but it is remarkable how far we've come since I decided to pull a "Billy Walsh" (think Entourage) and change everything up.
The end result is, it feels, looks and flows better than before. We're a long ways from getting the wow we're looking for - but we do have an awesome base to get there. I'm proud of what we've accomplished, and hopefully we can show David here in the next few days!!!
1:55 am ET 11/12
it's been a long couple of days, and now i can finally rest easy and say that we have completed our rough edit of our documentary on David.
Is it perfect? far from it - but we weren't looking for that yet. Our purpose was to tell his story and at the same time show the class what our intentions were. there will be some enthusiastic people who respond to what we have, but i'm not looking for anything great until we have made our final edits and burned that final DVD.
In the coming days i will show David our rough edit, and get his feedback on it. I'm sure he'll like some of the things we've done, and he'll probably laugh at some of the things that have holes (ie jump cut for which we plan on using additional footage and so forth).
Is it enough to make me smile? yes, but is it enough to keep me content? no.
after 2+ days of nearly no sleep - it looks like I'll finally get to lie my head down on my pillow tonight. I'm looking forward to it now - but I'm looking forward to watching the edit tomorrow in class.
we'll see where the fruits of our labor take us - but for now - it's taking me off into dream land.
Until tomorrow, when i'll post about the classes response, i hope whoever is reading this enjoys...even if it's only me on here...
6:20 pm ET
Oly Trials and Olympics are finished!!! well at least the rough cut version, haha...
Right now we're on break for about 20 mins to eat some Wendy's...I'm so sick of the fast food I've eaten in the past two days - but since I've been too lazy to make my own food i guess it's what happens.
As for editing - we're almost finished - but we probably won't finish up until after class tonight. efff this is tedious - and all in the name of making a rough edit for class, haha...
but, c'est la vie...
3:53 pm ET
Okay, so we just finished with the Olympic segment for the edit - and it definitely looks amazing! I'm really proud of how we put it all together - and I hope David feels the same way.
All in all, it's going very well and I can't wait to see what it looks like when we piece everything together. right now we're taking a break while we're waiting for some files to render so we can piece together stuff for the Olympic Trials.
So far if we stopped we'd have a 6:30 piece out of a 7-minute project. it's looking like we'll finish with an edit somewhere around 7:30 for tomorrow - so all in all nothing too shabby.
I know i said I was disappointed earlier in how the stuff was pieced together - but as we work through it i can finally see the pulse of the story and hopefully it's vibrant nature will induce the 'wowness' i'm seeking.
David's truly an inspirational person and his story is a great one - i hope we do it all justice. so far i think we're on the right path.
...till the next break in action...
11:44 am ET
After 9am class it's now back to editing!!
Yeah lack of sleep!!!! I'm working straight through the day and into the night with my editor, Chris, to finalize our rough edit for tomorrow. Our only solace of a break will come in the form of a lab for our HD class that we have at 9pm later.
We know that we both want this to be great - so no matter what we're committed to getting this done right and we'll stay up until class at 9am if need be!
Okay, back to work!!!...
5:03 am ET
Restless as I lie in bed - it's been a horrible night...again. I find that i cannot keep my mind straight, as my thought's stray from me as I try to get some rest away from editing - so I'm back on the computer again.
who needs sleep anyway, right?!
so here I am...again. Who know what will get this time - hopefully we can improve and get something worth while...
1:45 am ET
Running out of gas as we speak...not that I'm tired though!! I've just expended all that I can into the doc for the night. I just realized a minute ago that I cannot finish the entire thing - only because I don't have some of the footage!!!!
I thought I got the correct files from my editor - but it turns out I only have the ones that cannot work in Final Cut - effin' a....so I have everything wrapped up as much as I can for the night.
For the most part the story looks really really good! I mean I can't really complain - it's just i wish i had the rest of the footage so I could add in more coverage and work on the stuff from the olympic trials. But that will be saved for tomorrow!! blegh...
As far as where I'm at- i'm still at the 3:30ish mark - but that's perfectly good with me because we started on the olympics stuff - which was going to take up about 2 mins and also the Olympic Trials which was going to take up about another 1 1/2 minutes - which gives us a guesstimated TRT of 7 mins!
All in all, it's not looking too bad and I'm not too worried about what we'll turn in on Weds for the rest of the class to watch. Hopefully we'll turn some heads - but who knows...
I still am a little down on it - but for the most part i think it does David's story justice. I just wish it had that missing...element...
12:15 am ET
The more I watch what I have created so far - the more I realize this doc is exactly the type of thing that NBC/ESPN/Fox would do for programing. Although mine will only be 7-minutes long (at least the version I submit for grading) I look back at it and I realize that the creative side of it all is kind of lacking.
This isn't to say the documentary will be bad - but it just follows a template that's been tried and continues to be used. It's not for lack of an idea - it's just now that I realize what everything pieced together looks like - it strikes me as funny.
Granted we did have issues with our subject being out of town until last week - and we also have the issue that this is the offseason. So there are no track meets we could have covered, there were no extended track sessions (actually there were no track sessions), we weren't given official approval to shoot on Disney property, we had issues with all of the interviews (some of which I am still working on getting), and we didn't have any prepro time with our talent.
Everything had to be laid out in my mind on a template that was ever changing. I had to guesstimate what we would have available to us and the settings we could use. Everything was done on the fly, in regards to what we shot. Granted we have a lot of good material - it's just not overly artistic.
In a way, I kind of feel like a failure because I am using a method that others have used before me and many more will still use in time. Again, this isn't to say it will be bad - because it's very very powerful. Even the music found a way to line itself up with my edits!
Whatever the case, I guess it's myself question something that doesn't need to be bothered with. Damn insecurities. I know it looks good - but that's not what I want. I want perfection...
but at this late stage, what can you do, right?! c'est la vie...
10:23 pm ET
So far I have a 3:19 story for a 7-minute documentary...and I'm only just beginning. As of right now, everything looks, sounds and feels a million times better than it did this morning. I'm sure my group - and my friend Chase who is competing with me as one of the guys who wants to be top director in the class - had their doubts.
I'm not worrying about it anymore. with what I have and how it flows I can already see how it'll look by the time we polish it later this week - and it should be awesome. But to earn the coveted 'wow' is going to continue to be up in the air - and I definitely don't want to jinx it.
As for the rest of the story - it's going to be the awe-inspiring portion in which we venture into the Olympic Trials and the Olympics.
We already have most of the Olympics done - and I must say it gives me goose bumps watching it (yes, it's that good). So I can't wait to see how the rest of it unfolds...
...'till the next break in action...
8:43 pm ET
So David's updated his blog today...the pressure is now on. I saw it earlier - but now that we're in the open as to what we're doing (and with the knowledge that David's friends and competitors check his blog) there is no doubt this will be something I will labor over down to the most minute detail.
Before we had the freedom of being under the radar - but now it's finally sinking in as the pressure starts to mount. I know it'll look amazing - but because I have my own insecurities about how the project will be - I have decided to redo the entire story...
I must be an idiot.
But I have faith in the knowledge that when I was at ASU, and when the pressure started to mount with impossible deadlines and stories - I somehow always pulled something out that was not...well...me. It was the creative me, not the structured one who took over, so that's what I believe is happening now - as I am ditching the structured format and telling an entirely different story.
Who knows how it will work out - but then again we are working for the rough edit here - not the final one. I'll get the feedback from my classmates and teachers - but then again - I hate to lose and I want to dominate the competition. This will not just be good - the goal is epic...
more to follow...
6:38 pm ET
This is going to be an experiment tonight. For the sake of keeping my sanity - and to give me the necessary distraction I need to keep going and no fall apart tonight - I've decided to keep a running log of what's happening as I continue to edit David Oliver's documentary: 12.85
So far I've already logged maybe 12-14 hours over the weekend just working on breaking down roughly 5 hours of footage from interviews, track meets, and b-roll as well as nearly 1000+ photos we've taken. it's been a tedious process to say the least - but something that's completely changed my life in the past week since we began shooting.
I probably won't get to sleep until after Wednesday's class when our rough edit is due - but I'm completely okay with that. my mission right now is to make this documentary something that reflects my group, myself but most importantly David in a way that generates the awe inspiring "wow factor". Whether I can accomplish that or not is to be seen - but for anyone who's reading this - enjoy as I continue to update deep into the night
with any luck this should be the "final" post for this thread, haha...
after spending what seemed like an eternity exporting the files from Final Cut (our editing suite) and burning some 5-DVDs (there was a problem with one of the comps) we finally got this thing right!!
I'm still waiting on the final rough cut edit to burn on my comp as we speak - but i feel confident in say this will be the last time i have to do anything tonight!
Looking back, I can't believe I just spent 2 1/2 days up working on this!! It's weird because I have been working on it non-stop since Sunday - but now that the dust is settling, it all seems to have flown by so quickly. I really don't miss the sleepless hours, but it is remarkable how far we've come since I decided to pull a "Billy Walsh" (think Entourage) and change everything up.
The end result is, it feels, looks and flows better than before. We're a long ways from getting the wow we're looking for - but we do have an awesome base to get there. I'm proud of what we've accomplished, and hopefully we can show David here in the next few days!!!
1:55 am ET 11/12
it's been a long couple of days, and now i can finally rest easy and say that we have completed our rough edit of our documentary on David.
Is it perfect? far from it - but we weren't looking for that yet. Our purpose was to tell his story and at the same time show the class what our intentions were. there will be some enthusiastic people who respond to what we have, but i'm not looking for anything great until we have made our final edits and burned that final DVD.
In the coming days i will show David our rough edit, and get his feedback on it. I'm sure he'll like some of the things we've done, and he'll probably laugh at some of the things that have holes (ie jump cut for which we plan on using additional footage and so forth).
Is it enough to make me smile? yes, but is it enough to keep me content? no.
after 2+ days of nearly no sleep - it looks like I'll finally get to lie my head down on my pillow tonight. I'm looking forward to it now - but I'm looking forward to watching the edit tomorrow in class.
we'll see where the fruits of our labor take us - but for now - it's taking me off into dream land.
Until tomorrow, when i'll post about the classes response, i hope whoever is reading this enjoys...even if it's only me on here...
6:20 pm ET
Oly Trials and Olympics are finished!!! well at least the rough cut version, haha...
Right now we're on break for about 20 mins to eat some Wendy's...I'm so sick of the fast food I've eaten in the past two days - but since I've been too lazy to make my own food i guess it's what happens.
As for editing - we're almost finished - but we probably won't finish up until after class tonight. efff this is tedious - and all in the name of making a rough edit for class, haha...
but, c'est la vie...
3:53 pm ET
Okay, so we just finished with the Olympic segment for the edit - and it definitely looks amazing! I'm really proud of how we put it all together - and I hope David feels the same way.
All in all, it's going very well and I can't wait to see what it looks like when we piece everything together. right now we're taking a break while we're waiting for some files to render so we can piece together stuff for the Olympic Trials.
So far if we stopped we'd have a 6:30 piece out of a 7-minute project. it's looking like we'll finish with an edit somewhere around 7:30 for tomorrow - so all in all nothing too shabby.
I know i said I was disappointed earlier in how the stuff was pieced together - but as we work through it i can finally see the pulse of the story and hopefully it's vibrant nature will induce the 'wowness' i'm seeking.
David's truly an inspirational person and his story is a great one - i hope we do it all justice. so far i think we're on the right path.
...till the next break in action...
11:44 am ET
After 9am class it's now back to editing!!
Yeah lack of sleep!!!! I'm working straight through the day and into the night with my editor, Chris, to finalize our rough edit for tomorrow. Our only solace of a break will come in the form of a lab for our HD class that we have at 9pm later.
We know that we both want this to be great - so no matter what we're committed to getting this done right and we'll stay up until class at 9am if need be!
Okay, back to work!!!...
5:03 am ET
Restless as I lie in bed - it's been a horrible night...again. I find that i cannot keep my mind straight, as my thought's stray from me as I try to get some rest away from editing - so I'm back on the computer again.
who needs sleep anyway, right?!
so here I am...again. Who know what will get this time - hopefully we can improve and get something worth while...
1:45 am ET
Running out of gas as we speak...not that I'm tired though!! I've just expended all that I can into the doc for the night. I just realized a minute ago that I cannot finish the entire thing - only because I don't have some of the footage!!!!
I thought I got the correct files from my editor - but it turns out I only have the ones that cannot work in Final Cut - effin' a....so I have everything wrapped up as much as I can for the night.
For the most part the story looks really really good! I mean I can't really complain - it's just i wish i had the rest of the footage so I could add in more coverage and work on the stuff from the olympic trials. But that will be saved for tomorrow!! blegh...
As far as where I'm at- i'm still at the 3:30ish mark - but that's perfectly good with me because we started on the olympics stuff - which was going to take up about 2 mins and also the Olympic Trials which was going to take up about another 1 1/2 minutes - which gives us a guesstimated TRT of 7 mins!
All in all, it's not looking too bad and I'm not too worried about what we'll turn in on Weds for the rest of the class to watch. Hopefully we'll turn some heads - but who knows...
I still am a little down on it - but for the most part i think it does David's story justice. I just wish it had that missing...element...
12:15 am ET
The more I watch what I have created so far - the more I realize this doc is exactly the type of thing that NBC/ESPN/Fox would do for programing. Although mine will only be 7-minutes long (at least the version I submit for grading) I look back at it and I realize that the creative side of it all is kind of lacking.
This isn't to say the documentary will be bad - but it just follows a template that's been tried and continues to be used. It's not for lack of an idea - it's just now that I realize what everything pieced together looks like - it strikes me as funny.
Granted we did have issues with our subject being out of town until last week - and we also have the issue that this is the offseason. So there are no track meets we could have covered, there were no extended track sessions (actually there were no track sessions), we weren't given official approval to shoot on Disney property, we had issues with all of the interviews (some of which I am still working on getting), and we didn't have any prepro time with our talent.
Everything had to be laid out in my mind on a template that was ever changing. I had to guesstimate what we would have available to us and the settings we could use. Everything was done on the fly, in regards to what we shot. Granted we have a lot of good material - it's just not overly artistic.
In a way, I kind of feel like a failure because I am using a method that others have used before me and many more will still use in time. Again, this isn't to say it will be bad - because it's very very powerful. Even the music found a way to line itself up with my edits!
Whatever the case, I guess it's myself question something that doesn't need to be bothered with. Damn insecurities. I know it looks good - but that's not what I want. I want perfection...
but at this late stage, what can you do, right?! c'est la vie...
10:23 pm ET
So far I have a 3:19 story for a 7-minute documentary...and I'm only just beginning. As of right now, everything looks, sounds and feels a million times better than it did this morning. I'm sure my group - and my friend Chase who is competing with me as one of the guys who wants to be top director in the class - had their doubts.
I'm not worrying about it anymore. with what I have and how it flows I can already see how it'll look by the time we polish it later this week - and it should be awesome. But to earn the coveted 'wow' is going to continue to be up in the air - and I definitely don't want to jinx it.
As for the rest of the story - it's going to be the awe-inspiring portion in which we venture into the Olympic Trials and the Olympics.
We already have most of the Olympics done - and I must say it gives me goose bumps watching it (yes, it's that good). So I can't wait to see how the rest of it unfolds...
...'till the next break in action...
8:43 pm ET
So David's updated his blog today...the pressure is now on. I saw it earlier - but now that we're in the open as to what we're doing (and with the knowledge that David's friends and competitors check his blog) there is no doubt this will be something I will labor over down to the most minute detail.
Before we had the freedom of being under the radar - but now it's finally sinking in as the pressure starts to mount. I know it'll look amazing - but because I have my own insecurities about how the project will be - I have decided to redo the entire story...
I must be an idiot.
But I have faith in the knowledge that when I was at ASU, and when the pressure started to mount with impossible deadlines and stories - I somehow always pulled something out that was not...well...me. It was the creative me, not the structured one who took over, so that's what I believe is happening now - as I am ditching the structured format and telling an entirely different story.
Who knows how it will work out - but then again we are working for the rough edit here - not the final one. I'll get the feedback from my classmates and teachers - but then again - I hate to lose and I want to dominate the competition. This will not just be good - the goal is epic...
more to follow...
6:38 pm ET
This is going to be an experiment tonight. For the sake of keeping my sanity - and to give me the necessary distraction I need to keep going and no fall apart tonight - I've decided to keep a running log of what's happening as I continue to edit David Oliver's documentary: 12.85
So far I've already logged maybe 12-14 hours over the weekend just working on breaking down roughly 5 hours of footage from interviews, track meets, and b-roll as well as nearly 1000+ photos we've taken. it's been a tedious process to say the least - but something that's completely changed my life in the past week since we began shooting.
I probably won't get to sleep until after Wednesday's class when our rough edit is due - but I'm completely okay with that. my mission right now is to make this documentary something that reflects my group, myself but most importantly David in a way that generates the awe inspiring "wow factor". Whether I can accomplish that or not is to be seen - but for anyone who's reading this - enjoy as I continue to update deep into the night
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Run: 16'46"
Running has always been a pastime that I take pleasure in. Whether it's from the chemically induced “runner’s high” or the feeling of cleansing oneself through mind numbing torture, I can’t exactly point to what it is that allows me to find the true pleasure of a run, and tonight was no different than any other. While I didn’t set out to break any records – I did find that something in me was different. I was changed.
From the start I knew something was going to be different – whether it was from Led Zepplin’s ‘Kashmir’ on the radio or the absence of traffic (a rarity in this region). Yet, as I approached my starting point there was a young couple in need of assistance. While they were struggling to push their car out of the middle of an intersection (it turns out their car had died on them) I decided to help them before I jogged off into oblivion.
I only bring this point up, not because I want to point out my efforts of self-efficacy which in turn would make this point mute by my own self-acknowledgement (less I digress some more), but because in the course of pushing their car to a safe point some 200+ meters away I had given myself something I’m not routinely accustomed to – a thorough warmup.
Soon after making sure they had a tow-truck coming, I sped off into my own little world. Almost immediately I noticed my legs were moving with an effortless fluidity I am not accustomed to as my strides quickly found an accelerated yet comfortable cadence.
As this new sensation overtook me, I started to drift and instead of watching the trail, zoned in to what I was doing, I was for once taking in the surreal surroundings of my playground. The sky had a brilliant radiance of pastel oranges, pinks and yellows accented by the calm waters of Lake Baldwin. The air was crisp, clean and clear – and as the darkness of the night began to stalk me – I pushed on through oblivious to any sensation of pain.
As I reached the half-way point, I finally felt my body begin to mock me. My legs were starting to buckle a little and while I told them to muster on with whatever energy my body could produce, I started to think to myself how much longer I would be able to keep this pace.
Yet, as my own self-doubt began to haunt me I soon found myself thinking about the rhythm of my breathing and how harmonic and in sync it was with my arms pumping, my feet churning and my shoulders relaxing. I quickly lost all sight of whatever doubt was there as I took pleasure in examining the delicate balance of what my body was doing to help push me to where I was going. That was until I reached the last half-mile.
After crossing the turn around the bend in the trail – my body began to buckle under the stress. My legs were not having anymore, my lungs were screaming in agony and my shoulders were severely pinching my neck. And as my body started to yell at me to stop, I screamed back, ‘NO’. I wasn’t going to quit. I knew I was on pace for a big number – but whatever it was I didn’t care how much it hurt. I was not raised a quitter – and no matter how much my body felt like failing I was going to push on.
And then it hit me. After spending weeks watching world-class athletes run, I found the flaw in my technique and instead of coasting to the finish, I changed my form. Within seconds there was a noticeable difference as I went from cruise to drive phase. The finish was by now in sight and with that in mind I continued to drive myself, and with every step and every pump I knew I was one step closer to getting to where I wanted to be.
And as I finally crossed that line an enormous smile crossed my face, not because of the time, not because of what I had accomplished, but instead because I had finally gotten back to where I was. I had finally found myself again. I had told myself no, and failed to allow something that was within my control push me away from where I wanted to go.
And although the cost to achieve the end result was great, the pain was only temporary, quickly replaced by the knowledge of what I had done. I was whole again. And as I took my cool down jog I was able to breath deep again, and for once realize that I was not just running…that I could do this, and that nothing can stop me except for myself.
From the start I knew something was going to be different – whether it was from Led Zepplin’s ‘Kashmir’ on the radio or the absence of traffic (a rarity in this region). Yet, as I approached my starting point there was a young couple in need of assistance. While they were struggling to push their car out of the middle of an intersection (it turns out their car had died on them) I decided to help them before I jogged off into oblivion.
I only bring this point up, not because I want to point out my efforts of self-efficacy which in turn would make this point mute by my own self-acknowledgement (less I digress some more), but because in the course of pushing their car to a safe point some 200+ meters away I had given myself something I’m not routinely accustomed to – a thorough warmup.
Soon after making sure they had a tow-truck coming, I sped off into my own little world. Almost immediately I noticed my legs were moving with an effortless fluidity I am not accustomed to as my strides quickly found an accelerated yet comfortable cadence.
As this new sensation overtook me, I started to drift and instead of watching the trail, zoned in to what I was doing, I was for once taking in the surreal surroundings of my playground. The sky had a brilliant radiance of pastel oranges, pinks and yellows accented by the calm waters of Lake Baldwin. The air was crisp, clean and clear – and as the darkness of the night began to stalk me – I pushed on through oblivious to any sensation of pain.
As I reached the half-way point, I finally felt my body begin to mock me. My legs were starting to buckle a little and while I told them to muster on with whatever energy my body could produce, I started to think to myself how much longer I would be able to keep this pace.
Yet, as my own self-doubt began to haunt me I soon found myself thinking about the rhythm of my breathing and how harmonic and in sync it was with my arms pumping, my feet churning and my shoulders relaxing. I quickly lost all sight of whatever doubt was there as I took pleasure in examining the delicate balance of what my body was doing to help push me to where I was going. That was until I reached the last half-mile.
After crossing the turn around the bend in the trail – my body began to buckle under the stress. My legs were not having anymore, my lungs were screaming in agony and my shoulders were severely pinching my neck. And as my body started to yell at me to stop, I screamed back, ‘NO’. I wasn’t going to quit. I knew I was on pace for a big number – but whatever it was I didn’t care how much it hurt. I was not raised a quitter – and no matter how much my body felt like failing I was going to push on.
And then it hit me. After spending weeks watching world-class athletes run, I found the flaw in my technique and instead of coasting to the finish, I changed my form. Within seconds there was a noticeable difference as I went from cruise to drive phase. The finish was by now in sight and with that in mind I continued to drive myself, and with every step and every pump I knew I was one step closer to getting to where I wanted to be.
And as I finally crossed that line an enormous smile crossed my face, not because of the time, not because of what I had accomplished, but instead because I had finally gotten back to where I was. I had finally found myself again. I had told myself no, and failed to allow something that was within my control push me away from where I wanted to go.
And although the cost to achieve the end result was great, the pain was only temporary, quickly replaced by the knowledge of what I had done. I was whole again. And as I took my cool down jog I was able to breath deep again, and for once realize that I was not just running…that I could do this, and that nothing can stop me except for myself.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
12.85
Somewhere someway somehow in my life I must have done something right. I don't know how else to explain the ecstatic jubilant nature that greeted me and the sorrow that followed yesterday.
Happiness because after a long 2-months of working toward a documentary on Olympian David Oliver - the day finally arrived. Yet, at the same time the one thing that's greeted me as a gripping story, an inspiration and a rescuing distraction finally ended. Everything went extremely well - apart from the mics failing, lights blowing up (yes that really did happen) and our inability to officially film at Disney Wide World of Sports - and I couldn't be happier with where we're at in the process of editing this project.
I would like to write more at this time - but I'm being consumed by exhaustion from sleep deprivation among other things. There will be more to come - but for the time being - please enjoy a few of the pics.
<11/05 update>
Since I had class from 0100-0900 - and haven't had time to sleep, I spent the majority of the night going through countless soundtracks and although I cannot use this music to distribute this documentary (I'm working on finding royalty free music right now) this is the Theme Song I've settled on for the purposes of this class. I know some of you may chuckle that it's another "Michael Bay epic" connection - but after hearing it I felt it's pulse and it truly matched the one for David's story - click play and check it out:
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Sirens
Siren: a seductively beautiful or charming woman, esp. one who beguiles men
Pissed off and angry at another long day seemingly felt like it was wasted – I tried to take a nap. It had been nearly 36-hours since I had last slept, and here I was trying to get my eyes shut – only to keep staring at those pictures in my mind and hearing that voice tell me the truth of my reality.
As it stands I have been living in a world of convoluted haze since the start of September. I have been longing for something that I cannot have, nor will I ever see again. Her voice is clear as I can still feel the softness of her skin, the strands of her hair and the taste of her kisses. And yet, somehow my path keeps crossing with her and the people who have summed up the whole of my romantic existence for the past 2-plus years.
It seems odd and a tad bit awkward to think of it now – because how often is it that three of your exes all are interconnected (more than once) throughout the course of a two-year period. Theoretically, none should have any connection with the other since there is no bridge between them other than me. Yet, life always seems to find that passage and create an arc allowing those people to find themselves involved with each other in some way, shape or form.
Maybe it’s because we’re all the same. Maybe we’re all lost souls looking for the same person, the same excitement or the same disillusioned ideal of a relationship. Maybe it’s those shared tendencies and such that has life bring us together - or maybe it’s something else.
Whatever it is, this time though, I’m going to spare the details – but let us say that this time the information was brought to me in a more graphic and detailed manner than I would have liked (it came from a first hand source with intimate knowledge of the relationship). All in all, it reinforces my long-standing belief that I have never gone back on a broken relationship – and as far as I can see I won’t start that trend anytime soon. Whether that person turns out to be the true love of my life or not – there are no second chances with a shattered heart and contrary to popular belief, super glue does not fix all.
What I’m getting at is it turns out there is a pattern of exes among my exes that are forging new friendships and relationships as we speak. It’s kind of like a blossoming inter-tangled web of my past relationships somehow coming together and finding itself – only I am left to relinquish in my thoughts the knowledge of everything that’s going on. I am no longer a participant the life I left behind in Phoenix, only an observer who is being rocked in the wake of the boat that carries these acquaintances along in their paths together.
Whether I care to know or not – the oral reading and verbal confirmation regarding the only one I’ve ever truly loved was more than I could really handle. At least at this time. I have the benefit of knowing Mr. Wilson is an extraordinary man who will take care of her if the relationship runs its course – which by all indications are looking so. Yet, it bothers me to know this and see it and feel it – not because of the person – but because it took her less than two months to find that missing piece in her life and move on from me.
I know that I tried my hardest to make her happy and give her everything in this world to know she was loved. I don’t know if she ever truly appreciated the things I did or the time and effort I spent on her – but I feel now, that my efforts were nothing more than a feeble attempt to bring happiness into her life.
Now as I lie here trying to sleep after nearly 40-hours of sleeplessness – I’ll try and think to the future and get some sleep. I wish I could look back on my past with a sense of happiness, but I can’t because the future’s the only thing I can find comfort in as my past continues to tear me apart.
Pissed off and angry at another long day seemingly felt like it was wasted – I tried to take a nap. It had been nearly 36-hours since I had last slept, and here I was trying to get my eyes shut – only to keep staring at those pictures in my mind and hearing that voice tell me the truth of my reality.
As it stands I have been living in a world of convoluted haze since the start of September. I have been longing for something that I cannot have, nor will I ever see again. Her voice is clear as I can still feel the softness of her skin, the strands of her hair and the taste of her kisses. And yet, somehow my path keeps crossing with her and the people who have summed up the whole of my romantic existence for the past 2-plus years.
It seems odd and a tad bit awkward to think of it now – because how often is it that three of your exes all are interconnected (more than once) throughout the course of a two-year period. Theoretically, none should have any connection with the other since there is no bridge between them other than me. Yet, life always seems to find that passage and create an arc allowing those people to find themselves involved with each other in some way, shape or form.
Maybe it’s because we’re all the same. Maybe we’re all lost souls looking for the same person, the same excitement or the same disillusioned ideal of a relationship. Maybe it’s those shared tendencies and such that has life bring us together - or maybe it’s something else.
Whatever it is, this time though, I’m going to spare the details – but let us say that this time the information was brought to me in a more graphic and detailed manner than I would have liked (it came from a first hand source with intimate knowledge of the relationship). All in all, it reinforces my long-standing belief that I have never gone back on a broken relationship – and as far as I can see I won’t start that trend anytime soon. Whether that person turns out to be the true love of my life or not – there are no second chances with a shattered heart and contrary to popular belief, super glue does not fix all.
What I’m getting at is it turns out there is a pattern of exes among my exes that are forging new friendships and relationships as we speak. It’s kind of like a blossoming inter-tangled web of my past relationships somehow coming together and finding itself – only I am left to relinquish in my thoughts the knowledge of everything that’s going on. I am no longer a participant the life I left behind in Phoenix, only an observer who is being rocked in the wake of the boat that carries these acquaintances along in their paths together.
Whether I care to know or not – the oral reading and verbal confirmation regarding the only one I’ve ever truly loved was more than I could really handle. At least at this time. I have the benefit of knowing Mr. Wilson is an extraordinary man who will take care of her if the relationship runs its course – which by all indications are looking so. Yet, it bothers me to know this and see it and feel it – not because of the person – but because it took her less than two months to find that missing piece in her life and move on from me.
I know that I tried my hardest to make her happy and give her everything in this world to know she was loved. I don’t know if she ever truly appreciated the things I did or the time and effort I spent on her – but I feel now, that my efforts were nothing more than a feeble attempt to bring happiness into her life.
Now as I lie here trying to sleep after nearly 40-hours of sleeplessness – I’ll try and think to the future and get some sleep. I wish I could look back on my past with a sense of happiness, but I can’t because the future’s the only thing I can find comfort in as my past continues to tear me apart.
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