So often it sounds cliché to say the Olympics are the pinnacle of sports and national pride. Realistically, though, it’s a spectacle of over-commercialization capitalizing on the talents of the few and an endless collage of montages depicting the ‘struggle’ and ‘raw emotion’ of competition as an endless line of athletes ‘battle’ for the coveted title of Olympic champion.
And as countries buy into this ideal of global domination through athletics philosophy, we find ourselves glued to the television watching an endless cabaret of horse and pony show antics as countries string together entire armies of competitors – regardless of whether they have a chance to medal or not (see Team USA) – to the blissful clamors of the corporations profiting from this spectacle. Whether this two-week event can be classified as exploitation of international conglomerates bent on taking over the world for capital gain or drama in real life is debatable – but what’s lost in the mess is the reality that only a few of these athletes truly deserve to be there and furthermore what they do on the world’s stage defies not only their season, but also their careers.
While I am guilty of having a personal love affair for these Games, I have found a complete distaste for the media using this every 4-year event to exploit the names and faces of those (who are far too quickly forgotten) to fuel the consumerism that’s perpetuated this into a national obsession and turning its viewers into addicts in search of another quick fix.
Yet, as I write this I am starting to realize the impact of these Games are more than just a gripping trial of human skill, strength and will captured on an accessible medium. And while it does represent the ultimate in reality tv, it does serve a purpose to show the real and human side of these genetically superior beings that otherwise wouldn’t exist.
So that leads me to this spiel here. Since August I have been working on trying to secure the permission of such a person for the purposes of my documentary for film class. Although there have been many instances where failure was all but assured, I stuck it out and let the journalistic side of me take over as I worked to finally get what I was after.
Progress was made, and yesterday contact was finally achieved. After months of planning this documentary, regardless of the consequences or insecurities involving it, we have reached an accord with the team in training and the principal individual himself. Although we have yet to meet David in person (he was busy with a business venture); his teammates, manager and coach are all on board to aide and assist us in making this documentary about something more than just another story.
As a group we have preached this is not to be done with just a simple story in mind. And as I have stated from the beginning, this story is aiming at truly representing the man who came from obscurity to the pinnacle of his profession as he now stands at the forefront of a discipline historically dominated by Americans.
In essence we want to capture the pulse of David’s story – and like the conglomerates that capitalize on these moments – create something that inspires others by illustrating momentarily this man’s incredible narrative of resolve, desire and will.
We have the team in place; we have the support of his training cadre and friends. All the pieces are there, and now the pressure is solely on us. And much like the athletes that truly deserve to be at the Olympics – it’s time for us to rise to the occasion and show our mettle as we begin this journey and orchestrate David’s story in a manner which represents it to the fullest.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Seasons
I'm writing this as I lie in bed. Yet, as I escape my pervasive thoughts of the two mid-terms tomorrow and the project deadlines looming - I'm starting to think back to everything that's led me up to where I'm at in this point in my life. Most would argue that everything always seems to happen for a reason, and while I hope that holds true for what lies ahead, I keep going back to a time when life suddenly caught up to me and magically cast an intoxicating spell on me. I had a job that I liked, my true friends, all the forward momentum of chasing my dream and a girl, who for the first time in my life, genuinely loved me for all that I am.
To me, now, everything seems so simplistic back then. I had everything you could ever want and then some. The dreamer was finally awake and experiencing life as the following months that ensued made me happier than I had ever been at any point in my life. Looking back on it, all those months of autumn will always be for me what the summer of 2004 was - a point in my life when everything seemed to momentarily stop and come together. Simply put, the friendships were real, the adventures were numerous and exciting and love was realized.
Now fast forward to the present, and as I lie here in bed I can't help but think about how grateful I am for those memories. Being on the East Coast has been arguably the hardest thing I've had to do in my life, but it has taught me so much. And while I occasionally still feel isolated and distant from all that I cherish back home on the West Coast, it's those memories of love, laughter and life that get me through. Eventually I'll reach another one of these seasons - but until then I'll be eternally thankful for that brief period in my life.
As I leave, I wanted to leave this song. I'm putting it on here because it's the song that always brings me back to those memories, places and people.
I`ll Be Waiting Video
To me, now, everything seems so simplistic back then. I had everything you could ever want and then some. The dreamer was finally awake and experiencing life as the following months that ensued made me happier than I had ever been at any point in my life. Looking back on it, all those months of autumn will always be for me what the summer of 2004 was - a point in my life when everything seemed to momentarily stop and come together. Simply put, the friendships were real, the adventures were numerous and exciting and love was realized.
Now fast forward to the present, and as I lie here in bed I can't help but think about how grateful I am for those memories. Being on the East Coast has been arguably the hardest thing I've had to do in my life, but it has taught me so much. And while I occasionally still feel isolated and distant from all that I cherish back home on the West Coast, it's those memories of love, laughter and life that get me through. Eventually I'll reach another one of these seasons - but until then I'll be eternally thankful for that brief period in my life.
As I leave, I wanted to leave this song. I'm putting it on here because it's the song that always brings me back to those memories, places and people.
I`ll Be Waiting Video
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Running on E
So lately life's been stealing away my precious hours of sleep. The more it happens, the more I'm finding that those rare moments I can spend tucked next to my pillow in the sanctity of my bed are something to cherish. I never thought about it until lately, but how we sleep is about as close to the reality of a person as we can get. While people have their theories about clothing, music or hobbies opening a portal into a person's soul - I'm starting to notice more that how I sleep reflects where I'm at in life and how I'm handling it.
Right now, I guess you could say that because of my lack of sleep that something must be wrong. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. Lately, I know I have lost more than a few hours of sleep because I lie awake at night unable to turn off my brain from indulging in personal self-reflection - but lately, too, I've been working intently on a project that's now consumed the bane of my current existence.
Whatever it is, I find that sleep is the only way that life can truly strip us of our walls and armor and open us up to the world around us - defenseless and naked. And as we lie there habituating in our own world, those barriers that once existed expose us for who we really are (as lovers, frauds, saints or demons) and truly open us up to those in our life who are lucky enough to share in it or embrace it.
And as we take for granted those precious fleeting moments, try to reflect on how pure it all is. Because before you know it, the alarm clock will be roaring as another day is about to begin...
Right now, I guess you could say that because of my lack of sleep that something must be wrong. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. Lately, I know I have lost more than a few hours of sleep because I lie awake at night unable to turn off my brain from indulging in personal self-reflection - but lately, too, I've been working intently on a project that's now consumed the bane of my current existence.
Whatever it is, I find that sleep is the only way that life can truly strip us of our walls and armor and open us up to the world around us - defenseless and naked. And as we lie there habituating in our own world, those barriers that once existed expose us for who we really are (as lovers, frauds, saints or demons) and truly open us up to those in our life who are lucky enough to share in it or embrace it.
And as we take for granted those precious fleeting moments, try to reflect on how pure it all is. Because before you know it, the alarm clock will be roaring as another day is about to begin...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Random Musings on a Saturday Night
I really don't have much to say, but I just felt like posting something because I've had a lot on my mind today. Over the past month a lot has definitely happened, and I've experienced every range of emotion you can think of. I've been trying to put things into perspective and while I know what my priorities should be - I'm having a hard time engaging in them because I don't want to concede what I know is already true.
It's like someone once told me - you can't worry about what is out of your control - but lately, that's the only thing that I've been worrying about. I'm honestly not concerned with what's in my control, because truth be told I'm that confident in myself. But, it's the very thing that I cannot control that has me in ruins, constantly engaged in a struggle with myself as to what the past year has truly meant.
Was it all just a ruse or was it real? To me it was as real as anything I've experienced...and then some - but it's the other half of that answer which tears me apart at the seams. I look back and analyze every detail I remember and see how amazing it all really was, but then I get lost thinking to myself how could something so beautiful end? How can someone who shared so much passion and love for life with me already move on so quickly, while I am left to torment in the memories of what once was? Yet, in searching for that answer - the reality kicks in that it is something that is out of my control and out of my hands...and I have to sit here and accept it for what it is.
Being alone while dealing with this is something you cannot prepare yourself for. There are friends, but no one to go to - no one to be there for me - no one to help me out. Sometimes it feels like I'm sitting in the dentist chair strapped down while I'm having oral surgery done without novocain - and as much as I want to rip off those restraints and scream at the top of my lungs, I know I can't. I won't allow myself to, not because I don't want to, but because I love that person enough to give them the freedom they deserve to move on with their life. In the end, the only thing that truly matters to me is whether they are happy or not - and I made a promise to give them everything I could to ensure that. In time I'll eventually find it too - but for now, all I can do is sit here and oblige them because those emotions and the time we spent together was real to me. I'll never know how they saw it, but while I sit here lamenting in those memories the only thing I can do is hope they felt the same way too...
It's like someone once told me - you can't worry about what is out of your control - but lately, that's the only thing that I've been worrying about. I'm honestly not concerned with what's in my control, because truth be told I'm that confident in myself. But, it's the very thing that I cannot control that has me in ruins, constantly engaged in a struggle with myself as to what the past year has truly meant.
Was it all just a ruse or was it real? To me it was as real as anything I've experienced...and then some - but it's the other half of that answer which tears me apart at the seams. I look back and analyze every detail I remember and see how amazing it all really was, but then I get lost thinking to myself how could something so beautiful end? How can someone who shared so much passion and love for life with me already move on so quickly, while I am left to torment in the memories of what once was? Yet, in searching for that answer - the reality kicks in that it is something that is out of my control and out of my hands...and I have to sit here and accept it for what it is.
Being alone while dealing with this is something you cannot prepare yourself for. There are friends, but no one to go to - no one to be there for me - no one to help me out. Sometimes it feels like I'm sitting in the dentist chair strapped down while I'm having oral surgery done without novocain - and as much as I want to rip off those restraints and scream at the top of my lungs, I know I can't. I won't allow myself to, not because I don't want to, but because I love that person enough to give them the freedom they deserve to move on with their life. In the end, the only thing that truly matters to me is whether they are happy or not - and I made a promise to give them everything I could to ensure that. In time I'll eventually find it too - but for now, all I can do is sit here and oblige them because those emotions and the time we spent together was real to me. I'll never know how they saw it, but while I sit here lamenting in those memories the only thing I can do is hope they felt the same way too...
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Darkest Light
This is our advanced lighting project for class last month (Sept '08). I worked as UPM again on this project, and although I wasn't ever entirely focused I did help with some of the lighting plots, schemes and shots we used. On set I helped out a lot with the rigging for the bedroom and street scenes - and I was actually the one lighting Jason's cigarette - for which we did nearly 30 takes including one where I almost burned his eyebrows off (I used too many matches and they exploded).
Overall I think this came out amazingly considering the time we had to prepare and shoot it (one week) and our DPs Ty and John did an amazing job finalizing our lighting plots and getting things into place. Take a look at it - and if the sound is too weak don't worry about it - it's supposed to be a lighting project anyway, haha...
Overall I think this came out amazingly considering the time we had to prepare and shoot it (one week) and our DPs Ty and John did an amazing job finalizing our lighting plots and getting things into place. Take a look at it - and if the sound is too weak don't worry about it - it's supposed to be a lighting project anyway, haha...
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Challenges We Face
Pierre Corneille was once quoted as saying, "to conquer without risk is to triumph without glory." For the first time in my life I'm starting to realize that this couldn't be truer.
For much of my life I felt that it was always best to learn an application, a situation or a person before taking the risk and lead as I allowed my natural talents to take over. But since September 2007, I finally decided that I was going to make a change in my life. I wasn't going to allow myself to be a bystander and follow the ebb and flow of a daily chorus of unhappiness. Change was inevitable as I knew staying in Phoenix wasn't in the cards for me...no matter how much I loved it or the people there.
I still remember the day when I sat in Bruce Samuels office to talk about my future. As one of the clerks working on a few of his larger cases we had always talked about things and the nuances of the daily routine - but never about what we were about to discuss. At the time, I wanted to become an attorney. I thought without a doubt this was what I wanted, because my talents in the firm were being noted by numerous people - and my performance reports continually reflected this. But that day, something new happened as during the course of our conversation Bruce said something to me that will always stick with me. He told me there was a difference between being a lawyer and wanting to be a lawyer. The ones who are successful are the ones who love their job, and then there's everyone else. Before I left, he challenged me to strive for the former - because he knew I was good at my job and he believed in my talents...but that conversation had an effect elsewhere.
Fastfoward to today, nearly 18-months since that conversation, and I find myself in Florida in film school. I am not here because I wanted to pursue something that would have a steady income and a good deal of security down the road. I am here because I am striving for something that I truly believe in - and something that I take great pride in doing. Being here I'm learning more than I ever thought I would have. This is something that I am 100% passionate about and something that I am going to take great risk in trying to achieve, successfully or not. However, with those risks are the sacrifices we must take.
I have always been fascinated with history, if for nothing else than because I am a romanticist. I love the power and courage of those who have come before us and challenged the way we do things. I love looking at their impact on history and even in our lives today - but one of the things that's often overlooked is the price that those people paid themselves. They believed so much in something that they were willing to put everything on the line to prove it - whether it destroyed them or not. I know I'm not anything like those people, but in making my decision to leave everything behind (if just for a little while) I'm finally experiencing what it's like to sacrifice the very thing that inspires you for the very thing you believe in. Going through this experience has taught me it's not a fair trade - but it is the risk I took and the price I am paying to pursue the very thing that I know I am meant to be.
Time will tell if I am fortunate enough to ascend to the pinnacle of this profession, but by judging from my performance so far, I know I have a fair shot at achieving some success in this industry. It's always a reassuring thing when (no matter how unfocused or roused you are) your group/team/crew wants you to run the show. I know I haven't directed many things since I've been here - but I have seen the impact I've had on other people's projects in a producer type capacity through advice, assistance and support - I know I get this business, and I remember and understand why I'm here.
In all of this, the greatest lesson is knowing why I made my decision and respect the consequences that I now face. I am taking things one day at a time, and no matter how much it hurts those wounds will eventually heal in time. I took a great risk to be here - and I plan on nothing short of achieving all the success I have dreamed of...not because I want to be celebrated or rich (although that temptation will always present itself)- but because I want to make a change in this industry for the better and hopefully inspire those who were like me in accepting ebb and flow of life instead of actually living it. Only time will tell if this risk will lead me there, but like all great things, nothing great is accomplished without taking the risk and accepting its consequences.
For much of my life I felt that it was always best to learn an application, a situation or a person before taking the risk and lead as I allowed my natural talents to take over. But since September 2007, I finally decided that I was going to make a change in my life. I wasn't going to allow myself to be a bystander and follow the ebb and flow of a daily chorus of unhappiness. Change was inevitable as I knew staying in Phoenix wasn't in the cards for me...no matter how much I loved it or the people there.
I still remember the day when I sat in Bruce Samuels office to talk about my future. As one of the clerks working on a few of his larger cases we had always talked about things and the nuances of the daily routine - but never about what we were about to discuss. At the time, I wanted to become an attorney. I thought without a doubt this was what I wanted, because my talents in the firm were being noted by numerous people - and my performance reports continually reflected this. But that day, something new happened as during the course of our conversation Bruce said something to me that will always stick with me. He told me there was a difference between being a lawyer and wanting to be a lawyer. The ones who are successful are the ones who love their job, and then there's everyone else. Before I left, he challenged me to strive for the former - because he knew I was good at my job and he believed in my talents...but that conversation had an effect elsewhere.
Fastfoward to today, nearly 18-months since that conversation, and I find myself in Florida in film school. I am not here because I wanted to pursue something that would have a steady income and a good deal of security down the road. I am here because I am striving for something that I truly believe in - and something that I take great pride in doing. Being here I'm learning more than I ever thought I would have. This is something that I am 100% passionate about and something that I am going to take great risk in trying to achieve, successfully or not. However, with those risks are the sacrifices we must take.
I have always been fascinated with history, if for nothing else than because I am a romanticist. I love the power and courage of those who have come before us and challenged the way we do things. I love looking at their impact on history and even in our lives today - but one of the things that's often overlooked is the price that those people paid themselves. They believed so much in something that they were willing to put everything on the line to prove it - whether it destroyed them or not. I know I'm not anything like those people, but in making my decision to leave everything behind (if just for a little while) I'm finally experiencing what it's like to sacrifice the very thing that inspires you for the very thing you believe in. Going through this experience has taught me it's not a fair trade - but it is the risk I took and the price I am paying to pursue the very thing that I know I am meant to be.
Time will tell if I am fortunate enough to ascend to the pinnacle of this profession, but by judging from my performance so far, I know I have a fair shot at achieving some success in this industry. It's always a reassuring thing when (no matter how unfocused or roused you are) your group/team/crew wants you to run the show. I know I haven't directed many things since I've been here - but I have seen the impact I've had on other people's projects in a producer type capacity through advice, assistance and support - I know I get this business, and I remember and understand why I'm here.
In all of this, the greatest lesson is knowing why I made my decision and respect the consequences that I now face. I am taking things one day at a time, and no matter how much it hurts those wounds will eventually heal in time. I took a great risk to be here - and I plan on nothing short of achieving all the success I have dreamed of...not because I want to be celebrated or rich (although that temptation will always present itself)- but because I want to make a change in this industry for the better and hopefully inspire those who were like me in accepting ebb and flow of life instead of actually living it. Only time will tell if this risk will lead me there, but like all great things, nothing great is accomplished without taking the risk and accepting its consequences.
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