The Challenges We Face

Pierre Corneille was once quoted as saying, "to conquer without risk is to triumph without glory." For the first time in my life I'm starting to realize that this couldn't be truer.

For much of my life I felt that it was always best to learn an application, a situation or a person before taking the risk and lead as I allowed my natural talents to take over. But since September 2007, I finally decided that I was going to make a change in my life. I wasn't going to allow myself to be a bystander and follow the ebb and flow of a daily chorus of unhappiness. Change was inevitable as I knew staying in Phoenix wasn't in the cards for me...no matter how much I loved it or the people there.

I still remember the day when I sat in Bruce Samuels office to talk about my future. As one of the clerks working on a few of his larger cases we had always talked about things and the nuances of the daily routine - but never about what we were about to discuss. At the time, I wanted to become an attorney. I thought without a doubt this was what I wanted, because my talents in the firm were being noted by numerous people - and my performance reports continually reflected this. But that day, something new happened as during the course of our conversation Bruce said something to me that will always stick with me. He told me there was a difference between being a lawyer and wanting to be a lawyer. The ones who are successful are the ones who love their job, and then there's everyone else. Before I left, he challenged me to strive for the former - because he knew I was good at my job and he believed in my talents...but that conversation had an effect elsewhere.

Fastfoward to today, nearly 18-months since that conversation, and I find myself in Florida in film school. I am not here because I wanted to pursue something that would have a steady income and a good deal of security down the road. I am here because I am striving for something that I truly believe in - and something that I take great pride in doing. Being here I'm learning more than I ever thought I would have. This is something that I am 100% passionate about and something that I am going to take great risk in trying to achieve, successfully or not. However, with those risks are the sacrifices we must take.

I have always been fascinated with history, if for nothing else than because I am a romanticist. I love the power and courage of those who have come before us and challenged the way we do things. I love looking at their impact on history and even in our lives today - but one of the things that's often overlooked is the price that those people paid themselves. They believed so much in something that they were willing to put everything on the line to prove it - whether it destroyed them or not. I know I'm not anything like those people, but in making my decision to leave everything behind (if just for a little while) I'm finally experiencing what it's like to sacrifice the very thing that inspires you for the very thing you believe in. Going through this experience has taught me it's not a fair trade - but it is the risk I took and the price I am paying to pursue the very thing that I know I am meant to be.

Time will tell if I am fortunate enough to ascend to the pinnacle of this profession, but by judging from my performance so far, I know I have a fair shot at achieving some success in this industry. It's always a reassuring thing when (no matter how unfocused or roused you are) your group/team/crew wants you to run the show. I know I haven't directed many things since I've been here - but I have seen the impact I've had on other people's projects in a producer type capacity through advice, assistance and support - I know I get this business, and I remember and understand why I'm here.

In all of this, the greatest lesson is knowing why I made my decision and respect the consequences that I now face. I am taking things one day at a time, and no matter how much it hurts those wounds will eventually heal in time. I took a great risk to be here - and I plan on nothing short of achieving all the success I have dreamed of...not because I want to be celebrated or rich (although that temptation will always present itself)- but because I want to make a change in this industry for the better and hopefully inspire those who were like me in accepting ebb and flow of life instead of actually living it. Only time will tell if this risk will lead me there, but like all great things, nothing great is accomplished without taking the risk and accepting its consequences.