Next up...
PHOENIX!!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Christmas Adventures
So with the arrival of the new addition to the family it can easily be said that X-mas '08 was already a startling success. But to share with you the joy of my family's holiday season here are a few pics over the past few days from Colorado.
Next up...
PHOENIX!!!
Next up...
PHOENIX!!!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The Blueprint (cont'd)
So the other day classes finally ended and a month of not sleeping concluded...so to celebrate I went out with a couple friends to shoot some pics. (at this point it's okay to roll the eyes because I know I'm a complete nerd - but this is a part of my profession and it's something I LOVE and believe me I learn more from it than you could ever realize, haha)...
So I figured I'd link to a few of the pics I took. Lately I've been messing with shooting at different colors temps to test out the variance with them - because as we enter the realm of shooting on film - color temperatures are becoming increasingly more important. Actually - it's of absolute importance (although I'll spare you the details) so these pics are what I shot on my D80 with colors temps ranging between 8k and 10k at sunset...
Anywho - before I bore you all to death I figure I'll get to the pics. enjoy!!
So I figured I'd link to a few of the pics I took. Lately I've been messing with shooting at different colors temps to test out the variance with them - because as we enter the realm of shooting on film - color temperatures are becoming increasingly more important. Actually - it's of absolute importance (although I'll spare you the details) so these pics are what I shot on my D80 with colors temps ranging between 8k and 10k at sunset...
Anywho - before I bore you all to death I figure I'll get to the pics. enjoy!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The New Baby Bond
It is my distinct pleasure to preset the newest member of my family; Ashley Rae Bond!! I will post more later - but I haven't slept in about a week...
Apologies for the delayed posting of this. The past two weeks have been an adventure of extremely detailed oriented preproduction work for a 16mm class project. On Wednesday December 10th at 12:15 MST my sister gave birth to the newest addition to the Bond clan (and my family) by brining Ashley Rae Bond into this world. She was a big one at 8lbs and 20"!!
From what I've heard she has all the qualities of a Bond and Keeling mixed into one - so we're all excited to have her with us now - and I can't wait to get to Colorado in 2-weeks to meet her!! If she's anything like her older sister - then watch out world because that's two more heartbreakers for you to contend with! haha...
As for everything else - school's be going extremely well too! Next week I'm co-directing a 35mm short about a young inventor - which will be amazing since we're actually filming on REAL FILM!!! This is what I've been waiting for since I got to Florida - so I'm extremely excited to get going!
And as for why I haven't slept in what seems like an eternity (I have probably average about 2 1/2 to 3hrs since Thanksgiving) is because we've been putting together portfolios (think job applications) for our 16mm film production class. It's an extremely prestigious honor to be a part of the key team (director, upm, 1st AD, DP, etc) and hopefully I can get the job I applied for - Director.
Essentially, I turned in a 130-page portfolio based on the script I would like to direct. Although the script is only 6-pages long I felt I could have done more - and if I had more time I probably would have, haha. While it was definitely a new experience for me to undertake this kind of work, it truly makes me appreciate what it'll be like once I'm out in the real world.
The part that makes me happier than anything, too, is that throughout the entire process I kept falling more and more in love with what I was doing. There is no doubt this is what I am meant for, and if there was ever a moment when second guessing was a part of my thought process - it ceases to exist now. No matter what I do from here on, the attention to detail, the organization and the intense studying that goes into creating a shot composition list is something I'll work harder and harder to perfect. I LOVE this business - and it's honestly not an occupation - it's a passion.
And with that in mind - and with the girls pictured above in my life (they are the only ones who will never break my heart) - I can truly say that I am the luckiest person I know. :)
Apologies for the delayed posting of this. The past two weeks have been an adventure of extremely detailed oriented preproduction work for a 16mm class project. On Wednesday December 10th at 12:15 MST my sister gave birth to the newest addition to the Bond clan (and my family) by brining Ashley Rae Bond into this world. She was a big one at 8lbs and 20"!!
From what I've heard she has all the qualities of a Bond and Keeling mixed into one - so we're all excited to have her with us now - and I can't wait to get to Colorado in 2-weeks to meet her!! If she's anything like her older sister - then watch out world because that's two more heartbreakers for you to contend with! haha...
As for everything else - school's be going extremely well too! Next week I'm co-directing a 35mm short about a young inventor - which will be amazing since we're actually filming on REAL FILM!!! This is what I've been waiting for since I got to Florida - so I'm extremely excited to get going!
And as for why I haven't slept in what seems like an eternity (I have probably average about 2 1/2 to 3hrs since Thanksgiving) is because we've been putting together portfolios (think job applications) for our 16mm film production class. It's an extremely prestigious honor to be a part of the key team (director, upm, 1st AD, DP, etc) and hopefully I can get the job I applied for - Director.
Essentially, I turned in a 130-page portfolio based on the script I would like to direct. Although the script is only 6-pages long I felt I could have done more - and if I had more time I probably would have, haha. While it was definitely a new experience for me to undertake this kind of work, it truly makes me appreciate what it'll be like once I'm out in the real world.
The part that makes me happier than anything, too, is that throughout the entire process I kept falling more and more in love with what I was doing. There is no doubt this is what I am meant for, and if there was ever a moment when second guessing was a part of my thought process - it ceases to exist now. No matter what I do from here on, the attention to detail, the organization and the intense studying that goes into creating a shot composition list is something I'll work harder and harder to perfect. I LOVE this business - and it's honestly not an occupation - it's a passion.
And with that in mind - and with the girls pictured above in my life (they are the only ones who will never break my heart) - I can truly say that I am the luckiest person I know. :)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
12.85
Unfortunately I didn't have time to write anything earlier. This month's been extremely busy with school and such (since it's a shortened month) so I haven't had much time to breathe let alone do much anything else.
I wanted to wait to upload this until I knew David had seen it first, so my apologizes to those who were anxiously awaiting it. I was lucky enough to present it to David, his coach and his entire training cadre earlier this week - and I have to say it is my pleasure to be able present this to you now.
I would like to finish by thanking David for allowing my crew and myself in particular for giving us the access to do this project. The idea was initiated as a school project, but to those of us who worked on it - it was something much much more. To me, personally, this was a project that became my quest when I first heard of David, and I have been blessed to be a part of it and completely humbled by David's kindness, support and friendship throughout the entire process.
And for David in particular - remember - in a few years as I ascend the ranks of my profession to hopefully achieve the success you've attained in yours - you can always count on an invite to enjoy in the accomplishments that accompany the arduous journey. For without all of this, I would still be just a dreamer.
Thank you for everything.
I wanted to wait to upload this until I knew David had seen it first, so my apologizes to those who were anxiously awaiting it. I was lucky enough to present it to David, his coach and his entire training cadre earlier this week - and I have to say it is my pleasure to be able present this to you now.
I would like to finish by thanking David for allowing my crew and myself in particular for giving us the access to do this project. The idea was initiated as a school project, but to those of us who worked on it - it was something much much more. To me, personally, this was a project that became my quest when I first heard of David, and I have been blessed to be a part of it and completely humbled by David's kindness, support and friendship throughout the entire process.
And for David in particular - remember - in a few years as I ascend the ranks of my profession to hopefully achieve the success you've attained in yours - you can always count on an invite to enjoy in the accomplishments that accompany the arduous journey. For without all of this, I would still be just a dreamer.
Thank you for everything.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Life Or Something Like It...
For the past month and change I've been reading a lot of Chuck Klosterman - and I've started to realize that his stylized format of writing is something I really enjoy. Now, do I agree with everything he says? No - but I do enjoy the fact that he is someone who is willing to look at the scope of things from an angle which someone like me (ie straight-line thinker) never would.
In his book, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, there is an interesting question he poses at one point. It is as follows:
You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionable kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a full functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks. How do you spend the next fourteen days?
Although I've read this book several times since I bought it just over a month ago - this is a question I always look for and often think about. I try to imagine I am the person about to go into surgery - but then before I get started on the fourteen day trek to the operating room - I often ask myself a counter question:
Suppose the doctor told you that if you elect to have the surgery, there would be no certainty that the person who awakens from the drug induced sleep would be you. That there was a possibility that the person you were before the operation would cease to exist. Now how would you approach the question? Would you decide to live the next six months enjoying every moment you could? would you still elect to have the surgery because you value life - although there is a possibility that the person you know may never come out of that operation?
Furthermore, how would you look at life in the following days while you contemplate that decision? Would you be in a daze looking at the cracks in the sidewalk? would you look up around you and see the people above you looking at you? would you finally recognize the people who have always been there for you and loved you unconditionally even though you rarely (if ever) acknowledged their presence?
Obviously the answer is going to be different to everyone, but regardless life is something that is too valuable to take for granted. We often times waste our lives worrying about the unimportant - and although it would be nice to say that we are all ambitious enough to chase after the dreams that stir us to the core - not all of us have it in us to stand up and do what others could only dream of. Yet, if you were faced with the questions above - look at how you would have responded and approached the coming days of your life.
In short - stop wasting time. Live life for what it is - a gift. Love passionately, live intently, and approach life with purpose. Because what we may have today may be gone tomorrow.
In his book, Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, there is an interesting question he poses at one point. It is as follows:
You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionable kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a full functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks. How do you spend the next fourteen days?
Although I've read this book several times since I bought it just over a month ago - this is a question I always look for and often think about. I try to imagine I am the person about to go into surgery - but then before I get started on the fourteen day trek to the operating room - I often ask myself a counter question:
Suppose the doctor told you that if you elect to have the surgery, there would be no certainty that the person who awakens from the drug induced sleep would be you. That there was a possibility that the person you were before the operation would cease to exist. Now how would you approach the question? Would you decide to live the next six months enjoying every moment you could? would you still elect to have the surgery because you value life - although there is a possibility that the person you know may never come out of that operation?
Furthermore, how would you look at life in the following days while you contemplate that decision? Would you be in a daze looking at the cracks in the sidewalk? would you look up around you and see the people above you looking at you? would you finally recognize the people who have always been there for you and loved you unconditionally even though you rarely (if ever) acknowledged their presence?
Obviously the answer is going to be different to everyone, but regardless life is something that is too valuable to take for granted. We often times waste our lives worrying about the unimportant - and although it would be nice to say that we are all ambitious enough to chase after the dreams that stir us to the core - not all of us have it in us to stand up and do what others could only dream of. Yet, if you were faced with the questions above - look at how you would have responded and approached the coming days of your life.
In short - stop wasting time. Live life for what it is - a gift. Love passionately, live intently, and approach life with purpose. Because what we may have today may be gone tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
A Thanksgiving Memo
While thinking about it for the past few days I was contemplating what Thanksgiving has meant to me. As I thought about it for the first time I was stuck trying to realize what this day really means.
Every single Thanksgiving since I was born, my family has always been together on at least Thanksgiving and Christmas. And while I always looked forward to stuffing myself with turkey, laying sprawled out across the couch napping off the tryptophan hangover and having an intricate argumentative over whether the Detroit Lions can actually lose on Thanksgiving, I have to say that for once I’m not looking at the routine of the day.
Simply put, Thanksgiving means more to me this year than it has at any other point in my life.
Call me weak, call me empty, call me whatever you want, but a break from the routine is something that I need now more than anything. It’s not that I don’t love what I’m doing. I know that leaving who I was in Arizona to become what I am in Florida - despite the consequences and personal sacrifices - was the correct thing to do. I know that film is where my future lies, I know it’s where my passion’s at - I have the talent, the desire but most of all I care too much not to succeed.
Despite those personal reassurances I feel emptier now than I’ve felt in a long time. The mornings are hard, and the evenings are harder. Things often times seem bland and vanilla, and while I put my heart and soul into every project I partake in – I am constantly missing the self-gratification that used to accompany it.
Yet, I remain grateful for the experience. In the long run I know it’ll make me a better person, I know that I’ll learn more from it than any lecture could ever detail. But most of all, I know that when the world falls apart the only thing left standing will be the ones who truly care…the ones who will never quit on me…the ones who love me unconditionally.
And for that I am thankful.
Every single Thanksgiving since I was born, my family has always been together on at least Thanksgiving and Christmas. And while I always looked forward to stuffing myself with turkey, laying sprawled out across the couch napping off the tryptophan hangover and having an intricate argumentative over whether the Detroit Lions can actually lose on Thanksgiving, I have to say that for once I’m not looking at the routine of the day.
Simply put, Thanksgiving means more to me this year than it has at any other point in my life.
Call me weak, call me empty, call me whatever you want, but a break from the routine is something that I need now more than anything. It’s not that I don’t love what I’m doing. I know that leaving who I was in Arizona to become what I am in Florida - despite the consequences and personal sacrifices - was the correct thing to do. I know that film is where my future lies, I know it’s where my passion’s at - I have the talent, the desire but most of all I care too much not to succeed.
Despite those personal reassurances I feel emptier now than I’ve felt in a long time. The mornings are hard, and the evenings are harder. Things often times seem bland and vanilla, and while I put my heart and soul into every project I partake in – I am constantly missing the self-gratification that used to accompany it.
Yet, I remain grateful for the experience. In the long run I know it’ll make me a better person, I know that I’ll learn more from it than any lecture could ever detail. But most of all, I know that when the world falls apart the only thing left standing will be the ones who truly care…the ones who will never quit on me…the ones who love me unconditionally.
And for that I am thankful.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Surface of the Sun
Lately I've been watching a lot of the movie Sunshine.
(For those of you who haven't watched it - or don't know already - Dannny Boyle is by far one of my favorite directors. His vision and his cinematic composition are second to none and he's vastly underrated. He's one of the few directors I will go out of my way for to watch his film - even if it means going to the most obscure theaters to watch them. And he also collaborates with John Murphy who is quickly becoming the new John Williams [see the clip below])
Anyway, as I digress...for those of you who have not seen it - I consider it one of my favorites already. Could the movie have been composed better, I honestly don't know. I've looked and I've tried - but I love everything about it.
As a sci-fi junkie whose passion was initially stirred by the hallow Alien - I must say this movie evokes a lot of emotion from me, not because it's a sci-fi movie, but because there are so many things that are true about life in general. I will spare everyone the details of the later part. But in short - if you haven't seen it yet - I highly recommend that you rent it or buy it. If you know what to look for you'll see true brilliance throughout, but if you're untrained - don't worry because it's a movie that'll transport you from your everyday life...even if it's just for a little while.
(For those of you who haven't watched it - or don't know already - Dannny Boyle is by far one of my favorite directors. His vision and his cinematic composition are second to none and he's vastly underrated. He's one of the few directors I will go out of my way for to watch his film - even if it means going to the most obscure theaters to watch them. And he also collaborates with John Murphy who is quickly becoming the new John Williams [see the clip below])
Anyway, as I digress...for those of you who have not seen it - I consider it one of my favorites already. Could the movie have been composed better, I honestly don't know. I've looked and I've tried - but I love everything about it.
As a sci-fi junkie whose passion was initially stirred by the hallow Alien - I must say this movie evokes a lot of emotion from me, not because it's a sci-fi movie, but because there are so many things that are true about life in general. I will spare everyone the details of the later part. But in short - if you haven't seen it yet - I highly recommend that you rent it or buy it. If you know what to look for you'll see true brilliance throughout, but if you're untrained - don't worry because it's a movie that'll transport you from your everyday life...even if it's just for a little while.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Morning Showers
So often this crucial part of my life is something that I don’t ever think about and yet take for granted how important it really is. Every morning we walk into the bathroom and go about our daily routine – and in some order – it consists of brushing our teeth, applying deodorant, the swabbing of the ears, cologne, and most importantly, the ever so vital shower.
Today as I was walking the aisles of Target looking for some mouthwash, it occurred to me. How often do we ever correlate our morning showers to our daily lives? I mean, my shower here creates nice thick drops that feel amazing as they completely engulf you – yet later this week I’ll be stung by the sharp splintering showers of California.
(while, I understand that part of this assumption is skewed by the fact that certain states and areas restrict the flow of water –this also reinforces my argument since it also represents a place where we are when we feel this sensation.)
When I think back on how many different places I’ve been and the number of taken showers I've taken, the one constant has always been that in the morning how I feel when I get out of the shower has always had some impact on my day. I mean, will I be happy today – will I be irritable – will I be aloof - will I be petulant? I cannot say that the shower is directly responsible for how I will act, but I can say that it does have some influence over my attitude since it is among the first things I do when I wake up in the morning.
Anyway, it was just a passing thought I had – so I am throwing it out there to any of you who are reading this...
Today as I was walking the aisles of Target looking for some mouthwash, it occurred to me. How often do we ever correlate our morning showers to our daily lives? I mean, my shower here creates nice thick drops that feel amazing as they completely engulf you – yet later this week I’ll be stung by the sharp splintering showers of California.
(while, I understand that part of this assumption is skewed by the fact that certain states and areas restrict the flow of water –this also reinforces my argument since it also represents a place where we are when we feel this sensation.)
When I think back on how many different places I’ve been and the number of taken showers I've taken, the one constant has always been that in the morning how I feel when I get out of the shower has always had some impact on my day. I mean, will I be happy today – will I be irritable – will I be aloof - will I be petulant? I cannot say that the shower is directly responsible for how I will act, but I can say that it does have some influence over my attitude since it is among the first things I do when I wake up in the morning.
Anyway, it was just a passing thought I had – so I am throwing it out there to any of you who are reading this...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
12.85 - Crossing The Finish
I'm writing this as I sit in lab exporting our project for class and I'm reflecting on a few of the things that made this experience some kind of amazing.
From the start I knew David Oliver was who I wanted to do this project on. His career is a culmination of a string of disappointments accentuated by his refusal to quit when others thought he should. As he told me, four years ago if people thought he'd be in the position that he is in today he would have called them crazy. Yet, as his hard work paved the wave for his success, which rivals legends of the sport, he has earned the right to be considered an all-time great.
I wish I could upload the video for those of you to watch - but I will not do so until after David has seen it first. In the past two-weeks I don't think I've lost as much sleep over something that means as much to me as this has. It's been my inspiration, my motivation but most of all my salvation.
As I sit here and watch this project render, frame by frame, I look on at it with a sense of pride...but also with a sense of loss. As I watch on I cannot help but feel the effects as the one constant in my life over the past three months is being finalized before me. When I leave lab today, I know there will not be anything more to look forward to as this gift of an experience, that's been my guiding light through some of the hardest months of my life, reaches its conclusion.
Tomorrow a new dream will be my focus - but for now on today of all days - I'll sit here reflect upon what was and is one of the defining experiences of my career.
Thank you David Oliver.
From the start I knew David Oliver was who I wanted to do this project on. His career is a culmination of a string of disappointments accentuated by his refusal to quit when others thought he should. As he told me, four years ago if people thought he'd be in the position that he is in today he would have called them crazy. Yet, as his hard work paved the wave for his success, which rivals legends of the sport, he has earned the right to be considered an all-time great.
I wish I could upload the video for those of you to watch - but I will not do so until after David has seen it first. In the past two-weeks I don't think I've lost as much sleep over something that means as much to me as this has. It's been my inspiration, my motivation but most of all my salvation.
As I sit here and watch this project render, frame by frame, I look on at it with a sense of pride...but also with a sense of loss. As I watch on I cannot help but feel the effects as the one constant in my life over the past three months is being finalized before me. When I leave lab today, I know there will not be anything more to look forward to as this gift of an experience, that's been my guiding light through some of the hardest months of my life, reaches its conclusion.
Tomorrow a new dream will be my focus - but for now on today of all days - I'll sit here reflect upon what was and is one of the defining experiences of my career.
Thank you David Oliver.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Endeavour Launch
At approximately 7:55pm ET space shuttle endeavour blasted off into space. among the few hundred thousand in attendance who witnessed the night-sky exploded into radiant shades of white, yellow and orange were my roommate, a friend of ours and myself.
For me, in this extraordinary moment, one single event literally brought life back into perspective and made me appreciate what it means to be an American. In the wake of the elections last week - I have always had a great sense of pride in having the power to express my voice (regardless of if others think it can't be heard) to express my opinion and the opportunity to do so. Along those same lines, the patriotism that accompanies something as majestic and powerful as a Shuttle Launch, brings about words that cannot begin to recount the emotions that parallels an event of this magnitude - for those of you wondering - below is the video of what we witnessed last night...
Monday, November 10, 2008
12.85 - As I Run
4:31 am ET 11/12
with any luck this should be the "final" post for this thread, haha...
after spending what seemed like an eternity exporting the files from Final Cut (our editing suite) and burning some 5-DVDs (there was a problem with one of the comps) we finally got this thing right!!
I'm still waiting on the final rough cut edit to burn on my comp as we speak - but i feel confident in say this will be the last time i have to do anything tonight!
Looking back, I can't believe I just spent 2 1/2 days up working on this!! It's weird because I have been working on it non-stop since Sunday - but now that the dust is settling, it all seems to have flown by so quickly. I really don't miss the sleepless hours, but it is remarkable how far we've come since I decided to pull a "Billy Walsh" (think Entourage) and change everything up.
The end result is, it feels, looks and flows better than before. We're a long ways from getting the wow we're looking for - but we do have an awesome base to get there. I'm proud of what we've accomplished, and hopefully we can show David here in the next few days!!!
1:55 am ET 11/12
it's been a long couple of days, and now i can finally rest easy and say that we have completed our rough edit of our documentary on David.
Is it perfect? far from it - but we weren't looking for that yet. Our purpose was to tell his story and at the same time show the class what our intentions were. there will be some enthusiastic people who respond to what we have, but i'm not looking for anything great until we have made our final edits and burned that final DVD.
In the coming days i will show David our rough edit, and get his feedback on it. I'm sure he'll like some of the things we've done, and he'll probably laugh at some of the things that have holes (ie jump cut for which we plan on using additional footage and so forth).
Is it enough to make me smile? yes, but is it enough to keep me content? no.
after 2+ days of nearly no sleep - it looks like I'll finally get to lie my head down on my pillow tonight. I'm looking forward to it now - but I'm looking forward to watching the edit tomorrow in class.
we'll see where the fruits of our labor take us - but for now - it's taking me off into dream land.
Until tomorrow, when i'll post about the classes response, i hope whoever is reading this enjoys...even if it's only me on here...
6:20 pm ET
Oly Trials and Olympics are finished!!! well at least the rough cut version, haha...
Right now we're on break for about 20 mins to eat some Wendy's...I'm so sick of the fast food I've eaten in the past two days - but since I've been too lazy to make my own food i guess it's what happens.
As for editing - we're almost finished - but we probably won't finish up until after class tonight. efff this is tedious - and all in the name of making a rough edit for class, haha...
but, c'est la vie...
3:53 pm ET
Okay, so we just finished with the Olympic segment for the edit - and it definitely looks amazing! I'm really proud of how we put it all together - and I hope David feels the same way.
All in all, it's going very well and I can't wait to see what it looks like when we piece everything together. right now we're taking a break while we're waiting for some files to render so we can piece together stuff for the Olympic Trials.
So far if we stopped we'd have a 6:30 piece out of a 7-minute project. it's looking like we'll finish with an edit somewhere around 7:30 for tomorrow - so all in all nothing too shabby.
I know i said I was disappointed earlier in how the stuff was pieced together - but as we work through it i can finally see the pulse of the story and hopefully it's vibrant nature will induce the 'wowness' i'm seeking.
David's truly an inspirational person and his story is a great one - i hope we do it all justice. so far i think we're on the right path.
...till the next break in action...
11:44 am ET
After 9am class it's now back to editing!!
Yeah lack of sleep!!!! I'm working straight through the day and into the night with my editor, Chris, to finalize our rough edit for tomorrow. Our only solace of a break will come in the form of a lab for our HD class that we have at 9pm later.
We know that we both want this to be great - so no matter what we're committed to getting this done right and we'll stay up until class at 9am if need be!
Okay, back to work!!!...
5:03 am ET
Restless as I lie in bed - it's been a horrible night...again. I find that i cannot keep my mind straight, as my thought's stray from me as I try to get some rest away from editing - so I'm back on the computer again.
who needs sleep anyway, right?!
so here I am...again. Who know what will get this time - hopefully we can improve and get something worth while...
1:45 am ET
Running out of gas as we speak...not that I'm tired though!! I've just expended all that I can into the doc for the night. I just realized a minute ago that I cannot finish the entire thing - only because I don't have some of the footage!!!!
I thought I got the correct files from my editor - but it turns out I only have the ones that cannot work in Final Cut - effin' a....so I have everything wrapped up as much as I can for the night.
For the most part the story looks really really good! I mean I can't really complain - it's just i wish i had the rest of the footage so I could add in more coverage and work on the stuff from the olympic trials. But that will be saved for tomorrow!! blegh...
As far as where I'm at- i'm still at the 3:30ish mark - but that's perfectly good with me because we started on the olympics stuff - which was going to take up about 2 mins and also the Olympic Trials which was going to take up about another 1 1/2 minutes - which gives us a guesstimated TRT of 7 mins!
All in all, it's not looking too bad and I'm not too worried about what we'll turn in on Weds for the rest of the class to watch. Hopefully we'll turn some heads - but who knows...
I still am a little down on it - but for the most part i think it does David's story justice. I just wish it had that missing...element...
12:15 am ET
The more I watch what I have created so far - the more I realize this doc is exactly the type of thing that NBC/ESPN/Fox would do for programing. Although mine will only be 7-minutes long (at least the version I submit for grading) I look back at it and I realize that the creative side of it all is kind of lacking.
This isn't to say the documentary will be bad - but it just follows a template that's been tried and continues to be used. It's not for lack of an idea - it's just now that I realize what everything pieced together looks like - it strikes me as funny.
Granted we did have issues with our subject being out of town until last week - and we also have the issue that this is the offseason. So there are no track meets we could have covered, there were no extended track sessions (actually there were no track sessions), we weren't given official approval to shoot on Disney property, we had issues with all of the interviews (some of which I am still working on getting), and we didn't have any prepro time with our talent.
Everything had to be laid out in my mind on a template that was ever changing. I had to guesstimate what we would have available to us and the settings we could use. Everything was done on the fly, in regards to what we shot. Granted we have a lot of good material - it's just not overly artistic.
In a way, I kind of feel like a failure because I am using a method that others have used before me and many more will still use in time. Again, this isn't to say it will be bad - because it's very very powerful. Even the music found a way to line itself up with my edits!
Whatever the case, I guess it's myself question something that doesn't need to be bothered with. Damn insecurities. I know it looks good - but that's not what I want. I want perfection...
but at this late stage, what can you do, right?! c'est la vie...
10:23 pm ET
So far I have a 3:19 story for a 7-minute documentary...and I'm only just beginning. As of right now, everything looks, sounds and feels a million times better than it did this morning. I'm sure my group - and my friend Chase who is competing with me as one of the guys who wants to be top director in the class - had their doubts.
I'm not worrying about it anymore. with what I have and how it flows I can already see how it'll look by the time we polish it later this week - and it should be awesome. But to earn the coveted 'wow' is going to continue to be up in the air - and I definitely don't want to jinx it.
As for the rest of the story - it's going to be the awe-inspiring portion in which we venture into the Olympic Trials and the Olympics.
We already have most of the Olympics done - and I must say it gives me goose bumps watching it (yes, it's that good). So I can't wait to see how the rest of it unfolds...
...'till the next break in action...
8:43 pm ET
So David's updated his blog today...the pressure is now on. I saw it earlier - but now that we're in the open as to what we're doing (and with the knowledge that David's friends and competitors check his blog) there is no doubt this will be something I will labor over down to the most minute detail.
Before we had the freedom of being under the radar - but now it's finally sinking in as the pressure starts to mount. I know it'll look amazing - but because I have my own insecurities about how the project will be - I have decided to redo the entire story...
I must be an idiot.
But I have faith in the knowledge that when I was at ASU, and when the pressure started to mount with impossible deadlines and stories - I somehow always pulled something out that was not...well...me. It was the creative me, not the structured one who took over, so that's what I believe is happening now - as I am ditching the structured format and telling an entirely different story.
Who knows how it will work out - but then again we are working for the rough edit here - not the final one. I'll get the feedback from my classmates and teachers - but then again - I hate to lose and I want to dominate the competition. This will not just be good - the goal is epic...
more to follow...
6:38 pm ET
This is going to be an experiment tonight. For the sake of keeping my sanity - and to give me the necessary distraction I need to keep going and no fall apart tonight - I've decided to keep a running log of what's happening as I continue to edit David Oliver's documentary: 12.85
So far I've already logged maybe 12-14 hours over the weekend just working on breaking down roughly 5 hours of footage from interviews, track meets, and b-roll as well as nearly 1000+ photos we've taken. it's been a tedious process to say the least - but something that's completely changed my life in the past week since we began shooting.
I probably won't get to sleep until after Wednesday's class when our rough edit is due - but I'm completely okay with that. my mission right now is to make this documentary something that reflects my group, myself but most importantly David in a way that generates the awe inspiring "wow factor". Whether I can accomplish that or not is to be seen - but for anyone who's reading this - enjoy as I continue to update deep into the night
with any luck this should be the "final" post for this thread, haha...
after spending what seemed like an eternity exporting the files from Final Cut (our editing suite) and burning some 5-DVDs (there was a problem with one of the comps) we finally got this thing right!!
I'm still waiting on the final rough cut edit to burn on my comp as we speak - but i feel confident in say this will be the last time i have to do anything tonight!
Looking back, I can't believe I just spent 2 1/2 days up working on this!! It's weird because I have been working on it non-stop since Sunday - but now that the dust is settling, it all seems to have flown by so quickly. I really don't miss the sleepless hours, but it is remarkable how far we've come since I decided to pull a "Billy Walsh" (think Entourage) and change everything up.
The end result is, it feels, looks and flows better than before. We're a long ways from getting the wow we're looking for - but we do have an awesome base to get there. I'm proud of what we've accomplished, and hopefully we can show David here in the next few days!!!
1:55 am ET 11/12
it's been a long couple of days, and now i can finally rest easy and say that we have completed our rough edit of our documentary on David.
Is it perfect? far from it - but we weren't looking for that yet. Our purpose was to tell his story and at the same time show the class what our intentions were. there will be some enthusiastic people who respond to what we have, but i'm not looking for anything great until we have made our final edits and burned that final DVD.
In the coming days i will show David our rough edit, and get his feedback on it. I'm sure he'll like some of the things we've done, and he'll probably laugh at some of the things that have holes (ie jump cut for which we plan on using additional footage and so forth).
Is it enough to make me smile? yes, but is it enough to keep me content? no.
after 2+ days of nearly no sleep - it looks like I'll finally get to lie my head down on my pillow tonight. I'm looking forward to it now - but I'm looking forward to watching the edit tomorrow in class.
we'll see where the fruits of our labor take us - but for now - it's taking me off into dream land.
Until tomorrow, when i'll post about the classes response, i hope whoever is reading this enjoys...even if it's only me on here...
6:20 pm ET
Oly Trials and Olympics are finished!!! well at least the rough cut version, haha...
Right now we're on break for about 20 mins to eat some Wendy's...I'm so sick of the fast food I've eaten in the past two days - but since I've been too lazy to make my own food i guess it's what happens.
As for editing - we're almost finished - but we probably won't finish up until after class tonight. efff this is tedious - and all in the name of making a rough edit for class, haha...
but, c'est la vie...
3:53 pm ET
Okay, so we just finished with the Olympic segment for the edit - and it definitely looks amazing! I'm really proud of how we put it all together - and I hope David feels the same way.
All in all, it's going very well and I can't wait to see what it looks like when we piece everything together. right now we're taking a break while we're waiting for some files to render so we can piece together stuff for the Olympic Trials.
So far if we stopped we'd have a 6:30 piece out of a 7-minute project. it's looking like we'll finish with an edit somewhere around 7:30 for tomorrow - so all in all nothing too shabby.
I know i said I was disappointed earlier in how the stuff was pieced together - but as we work through it i can finally see the pulse of the story and hopefully it's vibrant nature will induce the 'wowness' i'm seeking.
David's truly an inspirational person and his story is a great one - i hope we do it all justice. so far i think we're on the right path.
...till the next break in action...
11:44 am ET
After 9am class it's now back to editing!!
Yeah lack of sleep!!!! I'm working straight through the day and into the night with my editor, Chris, to finalize our rough edit for tomorrow. Our only solace of a break will come in the form of a lab for our HD class that we have at 9pm later.
We know that we both want this to be great - so no matter what we're committed to getting this done right and we'll stay up until class at 9am if need be!
Okay, back to work!!!...
5:03 am ET
Restless as I lie in bed - it's been a horrible night...again. I find that i cannot keep my mind straight, as my thought's stray from me as I try to get some rest away from editing - so I'm back on the computer again.
who needs sleep anyway, right?!
so here I am...again. Who know what will get this time - hopefully we can improve and get something worth while...
1:45 am ET
Running out of gas as we speak...not that I'm tired though!! I've just expended all that I can into the doc for the night. I just realized a minute ago that I cannot finish the entire thing - only because I don't have some of the footage!!!!
I thought I got the correct files from my editor - but it turns out I only have the ones that cannot work in Final Cut - effin' a....so I have everything wrapped up as much as I can for the night.
For the most part the story looks really really good! I mean I can't really complain - it's just i wish i had the rest of the footage so I could add in more coverage and work on the stuff from the olympic trials. But that will be saved for tomorrow!! blegh...
As far as where I'm at- i'm still at the 3:30ish mark - but that's perfectly good with me because we started on the olympics stuff - which was going to take up about 2 mins and also the Olympic Trials which was going to take up about another 1 1/2 minutes - which gives us a guesstimated TRT of 7 mins!
All in all, it's not looking too bad and I'm not too worried about what we'll turn in on Weds for the rest of the class to watch. Hopefully we'll turn some heads - but who knows...
I still am a little down on it - but for the most part i think it does David's story justice. I just wish it had that missing...element...
12:15 am ET
The more I watch what I have created so far - the more I realize this doc is exactly the type of thing that NBC/ESPN/Fox would do for programing. Although mine will only be 7-minutes long (at least the version I submit for grading) I look back at it and I realize that the creative side of it all is kind of lacking.
This isn't to say the documentary will be bad - but it just follows a template that's been tried and continues to be used. It's not for lack of an idea - it's just now that I realize what everything pieced together looks like - it strikes me as funny.
Granted we did have issues with our subject being out of town until last week - and we also have the issue that this is the offseason. So there are no track meets we could have covered, there were no extended track sessions (actually there were no track sessions), we weren't given official approval to shoot on Disney property, we had issues with all of the interviews (some of which I am still working on getting), and we didn't have any prepro time with our talent.
Everything had to be laid out in my mind on a template that was ever changing. I had to guesstimate what we would have available to us and the settings we could use. Everything was done on the fly, in regards to what we shot. Granted we have a lot of good material - it's just not overly artistic.
In a way, I kind of feel like a failure because I am using a method that others have used before me and many more will still use in time. Again, this isn't to say it will be bad - because it's very very powerful. Even the music found a way to line itself up with my edits!
Whatever the case, I guess it's myself question something that doesn't need to be bothered with. Damn insecurities. I know it looks good - but that's not what I want. I want perfection...
but at this late stage, what can you do, right?! c'est la vie...
10:23 pm ET
So far I have a 3:19 story for a 7-minute documentary...and I'm only just beginning. As of right now, everything looks, sounds and feels a million times better than it did this morning. I'm sure my group - and my friend Chase who is competing with me as one of the guys who wants to be top director in the class - had their doubts.
I'm not worrying about it anymore. with what I have and how it flows I can already see how it'll look by the time we polish it later this week - and it should be awesome. But to earn the coveted 'wow' is going to continue to be up in the air - and I definitely don't want to jinx it.
As for the rest of the story - it's going to be the awe-inspiring portion in which we venture into the Olympic Trials and the Olympics.
We already have most of the Olympics done - and I must say it gives me goose bumps watching it (yes, it's that good). So I can't wait to see how the rest of it unfolds...
...'till the next break in action...
8:43 pm ET
So David's updated his blog today...the pressure is now on. I saw it earlier - but now that we're in the open as to what we're doing (and with the knowledge that David's friends and competitors check his blog) there is no doubt this will be something I will labor over down to the most minute detail.
Before we had the freedom of being under the radar - but now it's finally sinking in as the pressure starts to mount. I know it'll look amazing - but because I have my own insecurities about how the project will be - I have decided to redo the entire story...
I must be an idiot.
But I have faith in the knowledge that when I was at ASU, and when the pressure started to mount with impossible deadlines and stories - I somehow always pulled something out that was not...well...me. It was the creative me, not the structured one who took over, so that's what I believe is happening now - as I am ditching the structured format and telling an entirely different story.
Who knows how it will work out - but then again we are working for the rough edit here - not the final one. I'll get the feedback from my classmates and teachers - but then again - I hate to lose and I want to dominate the competition. This will not just be good - the goal is epic...
more to follow...
6:38 pm ET
This is going to be an experiment tonight. For the sake of keeping my sanity - and to give me the necessary distraction I need to keep going and no fall apart tonight - I've decided to keep a running log of what's happening as I continue to edit David Oliver's documentary: 12.85
So far I've already logged maybe 12-14 hours over the weekend just working on breaking down roughly 5 hours of footage from interviews, track meets, and b-roll as well as nearly 1000+ photos we've taken. it's been a tedious process to say the least - but something that's completely changed my life in the past week since we began shooting.
I probably won't get to sleep until after Wednesday's class when our rough edit is due - but I'm completely okay with that. my mission right now is to make this documentary something that reflects my group, myself but most importantly David in a way that generates the awe inspiring "wow factor". Whether I can accomplish that or not is to be seen - but for anyone who's reading this - enjoy as I continue to update deep into the night
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Run: 16'46"
Running has always been a pastime that I take pleasure in. Whether it's from the chemically induced “runner’s high” or the feeling of cleansing oneself through mind numbing torture, I can’t exactly point to what it is that allows me to find the true pleasure of a run, and tonight was no different than any other. While I didn’t set out to break any records – I did find that something in me was different. I was changed.
From the start I knew something was going to be different – whether it was from Led Zepplin’s ‘Kashmir’ on the radio or the absence of traffic (a rarity in this region). Yet, as I approached my starting point there was a young couple in need of assistance. While they were struggling to push their car out of the middle of an intersection (it turns out their car had died on them) I decided to help them before I jogged off into oblivion.
I only bring this point up, not because I want to point out my efforts of self-efficacy which in turn would make this point mute by my own self-acknowledgement (less I digress some more), but because in the course of pushing their car to a safe point some 200+ meters away I had given myself something I’m not routinely accustomed to – a thorough warmup.
Soon after making sure they had a tow-truck coming, I sped off into my own little world. Almost immediately I noticed my legs were moving with an effortless fluidity I am not accustomed to as my strides quickly found an accelerated yet comfortable cadence.
As this new sensation overtook me, I started to drift and instead of watching the trail, zoned in to what I was doing, I was for once taking in the surreal surroundings of my playground. The sky had a brilliant radiance of pastel oranges, pinks and yellows accented by the calm waters of Lake Baldwin. The air was crisp, clean and clear – and as the darkness of the night began to stalk me – I pushed on through oblivious to any sensation of pain.
As I reached the half-way point, I finally felt my body begin to mock me. My legs were starting to buckle a little and while I told them to muster on with whatever energy my body could produce, I started to think to myself how much longer I would be able to keep this pace.
Yet, as my own self-doubt began to haunt me I soon found myself thinking about the rhythm of my breathing and how harmonic and in sync it was with my arms pumping, my feet churning and my shoulders relaxing. I quickly lost all sight of whatever doubt was there as I took pleasure in examining the delicate balance of what my body was doing to help push me to where I was going. That was until I reached the last half-mile.
After crossing the turn around the bend in the trail – my body began to buckle under the stress. My legs were not having anymore, my lungs were screaming in agony and my shoulders were severely pinching my neck. And as my body started to yell at me to stop, I screamed back, ‘NO’. I wasn’t going to quit. I knew I was on pace for a big number – but whatever it was I didn’t care how much it hurt. I was not raised a quitter – and no matter how much my body felt like failing I was going to push on.
And then it hit me. After spending weeks watching world-class athletes run, I found the flaw in my technique and instead of coasting to the finish, I changed my form. Within seconds there was a noticeable difference as I went from cruise to drive phase. The finish was by now in sight and with that in mind I continued to drive myself, and with every step and every pump I knew I was one step closer to getting to where I wanted to be.
And as I finally crossed that line an enormous smile crossed my face, not because of the time, not because of what I had accomplished, but instead because I had finally gotten back to where I was. I had finally found myself again. I had told myself no, and failed to allow something that was within my control push me away from where I wanted to go.
And although the cost to achieve the end result was great, the pain was only temporary, quickly replaced by the knowledge of what I had done. I was whole again. And as I took my cool down jog I was able to breath deep again, and for once realize that I was not just running…that I could do this, and that nothing can stop me except for myself.
From the start I knew something was going to be different – whether it was from Led Zepplin’s ‘Kashmir’ on the radio or the absence of traffic (a rarity in this region). Yet, as I approached my starting point there was a young couple in need of assistance. While they were struggling to push their car out of the middle of an intersection (it turns out their car had died on them) I decided to help them before I jogged off into oblivion.
I only bring this point up, not because I want to point out my efforts of self-efficacy which in turn would make this point mute by my own self-acknowledgement (less I digress some more), but because in the course of pushing their car to a safe point some 200+ meters away I had given myself something I’m not routinely accustomed to – a thorough warmup.
Soon after making sure they had a tow-truck coming, I sped off into my own little world. Almost immediately I noticed my legs were moving with an effortless fluidity I am not accustomed to as my strides quickly found an accelerated yet comfortable cadence.
As this new sensation overtook me, I started to drift and instead of watching the trail, zoned in to what I was doing, I was for once taking in the surreal surroundings of my playground. The sky had a brilliant radiance of pastel oranges, pinks and yellows accented by the calm waters of Lake Baldwin. The air was crisp, clean and clear – and as the darkness of the night began to stalk me – I pushed on through oblivious to any sensation of pain.
As I reached the half-way point, I finally felt my body begin to mock me. My legs were starting to buckle a little and while I told them to muster on with whatever energy my body could produce, I started to think to myself how much longer I would be able to keep this pace.
Yet, as my own self-doubt began to haunt me I soon found myself thinking about the rhythm of my breathing and how harmonic and in sync it was with my arms pumping, my feet churning and my shoulders relaxing. I quickly lost all sight of whatever doubt was there as I took pleasure in examining the delicate balance of what my body was doing to help push me to where I was going. That was until I reached the last half-mile.
After crossing the turn around the bend in the trail – my body began to buckle under the stress. My legs were not having anymore, my lungs were screaming in agony and my shoulders were severely pinching my neck. And as my body started to yell at me to stop, I screamed back, ‘NO’. I wasn’t going to quit. I knew I was on pace for a big number – but whatever it was I didn’t care how much it hurt. I was not raised a quitter – and no matter how much my body felt like failing I was going to push on.
And then it hit me. After spending weeks watching world-class athletes run, I found the flaw in my technique and instead of coasting to the finish, I changed my form. Within seconds there was a noticeable difference as I went from cruise to drive phase. The finish was by now in sight and with that in mind I continued to drive myself, and with every step and every pump I knew I was one step closer to getting to where I wanted to be.
And as I finally crossed that line an enormous smile crossed my face, not because of the time, not because of what I had accomplished, but instead because I had finally gotten back to where I was. I had finally found myself again. I had told myself no, and failed to allow something that was within my control push me away from where I wanted to go.
And although the cost to achieve the end result was great, the pain was only temporary, quickly replaced by the knowledge of what I had done. I was whole again. And as I took my cool down jog I was able to breath deep again, and for once realize that I was not just running…that I could do this, and that nothing can stop me except for myself.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
12.85
Somewhere someway somehow in my life I must have done something right. I don't know how else to explain the ecstatic jubilant nature that greeted me and the sorrow that followed yesterday.
Happiness because after a long 2-months of working toward a documentary on Olympian David Oliver - the day finally arrived. Yet, at the same time the one thing that's greeted me as a gripping story, an inspiration and a rescuing distraction finally ended. Everything went extremely well - apart from the mics failing, lights blowing up (yes that really did happen) and our inability to officially film at Disney Wide World of Sports - and I couldn't be happier with where we're at in the process of editing this project.
I would like to write more at this time - but I'm being consumed by exhaustion from sleep deprivation among other things. There will be more to come - but for the time being - please enjoy a few of the pics.
<11/05 update>
Since I had class from 0100-0900 - and haven't had time to sleep, I spent the majority of the night going through countless soundtracks and although I cannot use this music to distribute this documentary (I'm working on finding royalty free music right now) this is the Theme Song I've settled on for the purposes of this class. I know some of you may chuckle that it's another "Michael Bay epic" connection - but after hearing it I felt it's pulse and it truly matched the one for David's story - click play and check it out:
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Sirens
Siren: a seductively beautiful or charming woman, esp. one who beguiles men
Pissed off and angry at another long day seemingly felt like it was wasted – I tried to take a nap. It had been nearly 36-hours since I had last slept, and here I was trying to get my eyes shut – only to keep staring at those pictures in my mind and hearing that voice tell me the truth of my reality.
As it stands I have been living in a world of convoluted haze since the start of September. I have been longing for something that I cannot have, nor will I ever see again. Her voice is clear as I can still feel the softness of her skin, the strands of her hair and the taste of her kisses. And yet, somehow my path keeps crossing with her and the people who have summed up the whole of my romantic existence for the past 2-plus years.
It seems odd and a tad bit awkward to think of it now – because how often is it that three of your exes all are interconnected (more than once) throughout the course of a two-year period. Theoretically, none should have any connection with the other since there is no bridge between them other than me. Yet, life always seems to find that passage and create an arc allowing those people to find themselves involved with each other in some way, shape or form.
Maybe it’s because we’re all the same. Maybe we’re all lost souls looking for the same person, the same excitement or the same disillusioned ideal of a relationship. Maybe it’s those shared tendencies and such that has life bring us together - or maybe it’s something else.
Whatever it is, this time though, I’m going to spare the details – but let us say that this time the information was brought to me in a more graphic and detailed manner than I would have liked (it came from a first hand source with intimate knowledge of the relationship). All in all, it reinforces my long-standing belief that I have never gone back on a broken relationship – and as far as I can see I won’t start that trend anytime soon. Whether that person turns out to be the true love of my life or not – there are no second chances with a shattered heart and contrary to popular belief, super glue does not fix all.
What I’m getting at is it turns out there is a pattern of exes among my exes that are forging new friendships and relationships as we speak. It’s kind of like a blossoming inter-tangled web of my past relationships somehow coming together and finding itself – only I am left to relinquish in my thoughts the knowledge of everything that’s going on. I am no longer a participant the life I left behind in Phoenix, only an observer who is being rocked in the wake of the boat that carries these acquaintances along in their paths together.
Whether I care to know or not – the oral reading and verbal confirmation regarding the only one I’ve ever truly loved was more than I could really handle. At least at this time. I have the benefit of knowing Mr. Wilson is an extraordinary man who will take care of her if the relationship runs its course – which by all indications are looking so. Yet, it bothers me to know this and see it and feel it – not because of the person – but because it took her less than two months to find that missing piece in her life and move on from me.
I know that I tried my hardest to make her happy and give her everything in this world to know she was loved. I don’t know if she ever truly appreciated the things I did or the time and effort I spent on her – but I feel now, that my efforts were nothing more than a feeble attempt to bring happiness into her life.
Now as I lie here trying to sleep after nearly 40-hours of sleeplessness – I’ll try and think to the future and get some sleep. I wish I could look back on my past with a sense of happiness, but I can’t because the future’s the only thing I can find comfort in as my past continues to tear me apart.
Pissed off and angry at another long day seemingly felt like it was wasted – I tried to take a nap. It had been nearly 36-hours since I had last slept, and here I was trying to get my eyes shut – only to keep staring at those pictures in my mind and hearing that voice tell me the truth of my reality.
As it stands I have been living in a world of convoluted haze since the start of September. I have been longing for something that I cannot have, nor will I ever see again. Her voice is clear as I can still feel the softness of her skin, the strands of her hair and the taste of her kisses. And yet, somehow my path keeps crossing with her and the people who have summed up the whole of my romantic existence for the past 2-plus years.
It seems odd and a tad bit awkward to think of it now – because how often is it that three of your exes all are interconnected (more than once) throughout the course of a two-year period. Theoretically, none should have any connection with the other since there is no bridge between them other than me. Yet, life always seems to find that passage and create an arc allowing those people to find themselves involved with each other in some way, shape or form.
Maybe it’s because we’re all the same. Maybe we’re all lost souls looking for the same person, the same excitement or the same disillusioned ideal of a relationship. Maybe it’s those shared tendencies and such that has life bring us together - or maybe it’s something else.
Whatever it is, this time though, I’m going to spare the details – but let us say that this time the information was brought to me in a more graphic and detailed manner than I would have liked (it came from a first hand source with intimate knowledge of the relationship). All in all, it reinforces my long-standing belief that I have never gone back on a broken relationship – and as far as I can see I won’t start that trend anytime soon. Whether that person turns out to be the true love of my life or not – there are no second chances with a shattered heart and contrary to popular belief, super glue does not fix all.
What I’m getting at is it turns out there is a pattern of exes among my exes that are forging new friendships and relationships as we speak. It’s kind of like a blossoming inter-tangled web of my past relationships somehow coming together and finding itself – only I am left to relinquish in my thoughts the knowledge of everything that’s going on. I am no longer a participant the life I left behind in Phoenix, only an observer who is being rocked in the wake of the boat that carries these acquaintances along in their paths together.
Whether I care to know or not – the oral reading and verbal confirmation regarding the only one I’ve ever truly loved was more than I could really handle. At least at this time. I have the benefit of knowing Mr. Wilson is an extraordinary man who will take care of her if the relationship runs its course – which by all indications are looking so. Yet, it bothers me to know this and see it and feel it – not because of the person – but because it took her less than two months to find that missing piece in her life and move on from me.
I know that I tried my hardest to make her happy and give her everything in this world to know she was loved. I don’t know if she ever truly appreciated the things I did or the time and effort I spent on her – but I feel now, that my efforts were nothing more than a feeble attempt to bring happiness into her life.
Now as I lie here trying to sleep after nearly 40-hours of sleeplessness – I’ll try and think to the future and get some sleep. I wish I could look back on my past with a sense of happiness, but I can’t because the future’s the only thing I can find comfort in as my past continues to tear me apart.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Contact
So often it sounds cliché to say the Olympics are the pinnacle of sports and national pride. Realistically, though, it’s a spectacle of over-commercialization capitalizing on the talents of the few and an endless collage of montages depicting the ‘struggle’ and ‘raw emotion’ of competition as an endless line of athletes ‘battle’ for the coveted title of Olympic champion.
And as countries buy into this ideal of global domination through athletics philosophy, we find ourselves glued to the television watching an endless cabaret of horse and pony show antics as countries string together entire armies of competitors – regardless of whether they have a chance to medal or not (see Team USA) – to the blissful clamors of the corporations profiting from this spectacle. Whether this two-week event can be classified as exploitation of international conglomerates bent on taking over the world for capital gain or drama in real life is debatable – but what’s lost in the mess is the reality that only a few of these athletes truly deserve to be there and furthermore what they do on the world’s stage defies not only their season, but also their careers.
While I am guilty of having a personal love affair for these Games, I have found a complete distaste for the media using this every 4-year event to exploit the names and faces of those (who are far too quickly forgotten) to fuel the consumerism that’s perpetuated this into a national obsession and turning its viewers into addicts in search of another quick fix.
Yet, as I write this I am starting to realize the impact of these Games are more than just a gripping trial of human skill, strength and will captured on an accessible medium. And while it does represent the ultimate in reality tv, it does serve a purpose to show the real and human side of these genetically superior beings that otherwise wouldn’t exist.
So that leads me to this spiel here. Since August I have been working on trying to secure the permission of such a person for the purposes of my documentary for film class. Although there have been many instances where failure was all but assured, I stuck it out and let the journalistic side of me take over as I worked to finally get what I was after.
Progress was made, and yesterday contact was finally achieved. After months of planning this documentary, regardless of the consequences or insecurities involving it, we have reached an accord with the team in training and the principal individual himself. Although we have yet to meet David in person (he was busy with a business venture); his teammates, manager and coach are all on board to aide and assist us in making this documentary about something more than just another story.
As a group we have preached this is not to be done with just a simple story in mind. And as I have stated from the beginning, this story is aiming at truly representing the man who came from obscurity to the pinnacle of his profession as he now stands at the forefront of a discipline historically dominated by Americans.
In essence we want to capture the pulse of David’s story – and like the conglomerates that capitalize on these moments – create something that inspires others by illustrating momentarily this man’s incredible narrative of resolve, desire and will.
We have the team in place; we have the support of his training cadre and friends. All the pieces are there, and now the pressure is solely on us. And much like the athletes that truly deserve to be at the Olympics – it’s time for us to rise to the occasion and show our mettle as we begin this journey and orchestrate David’s story in a manner which represents it to the fullest.
And as countries buy into this ideal of global domination through athletics philosophy, we find ourselves glued to the television watching an endless cabaret of horse and pony show antics as countries string together entire armies of competitors – regardless of whether they have a chance to medal or not (see Team USA) – to the blissful clamors of the corporations profiting from this spectacle. Whether this two-week event can be classified as exploitation of international conglomerates bent on taking over the world for capital gain or drama in real life is debatable – but what’s lost in the mess is the reality that only a few of these athletes truly deserve to be there and furthermore what they do on the world’s stage defies not only their season, but also their careers.
While I am guilty of having a personal love affair for these Games, I have found a complete distaste for the media using this every 4-year event to exploit the names and faces of those (who are far too quickly forgotten) to fuel the consumerism that’s perpetuated this into a national obsession and turning its viewers into addicts in search of another quick fix.
Yet, as I write this I am starting to realize the impact of these Games are more than just a gripping trial of human skill, strength and will captured on an accessible medium. And while it does represent the ultimate in reality tv, it does serve a purpose to show the real and human side of these genetically superior beings that otherwise wouldn’t exist.
So that leads me to this spiel here. Since August I have been working on trying to secure the permission of such a person for the purposes of my documentary for film class. Although there have been many instances where failure was all but assured, I stuck it out and let the journalistic side of me take over as I worked to finally get what I was after.
Progress was made, and yesterday contact was finally achieved. After months of planning this documentary, regardless of the consequences or insecurities involving it, we have reached an accord with the team in training and the principal individual himself. Although we have yet to meet David in person (he was busy with a business venture); his teammates, manager and coach are all on board to aide and assist us in making this documentary about something more than just another story.
As a group we have preached this is not to be done with just a simple story in mind. And as I have stated from the beginning, this story is aiming at truly representing the man who came from obscurity to the pinnacle of his profession as he now stands at the forefront of a discipline historically dominated by Americans.
In essence we want to capture the pulse of David’s story – and like the conglomerates that capitalize on these moments – create something that inspires others by illustrating momentarily this man’s incredible narrative of resolve, desire and will.
We have the team in place; we have the support of his training cadre and friends. All the pieces are there, and now the pressure is solely on us. And much like the athletes that truly deserve to be at the Olympics – it’s time for us to rise to the occasion and show our mettle as we begin this journey and orchestrate David’s story in a manner which represents it to the fullest.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Seasons
I'm writing this as I lie in bed. Yet, as I escape my pervasive thoughts of the two mid-terms tomorrow and the project deadlines looming - I'm starting to think back to everything that's led me up to where I'm at in this point in my life. Most would argue that everything always seems to happen for a reason, and while I hope that holds true for what lies ahead, I keep going back to a time when life suddenly caught up to me and magically cast an intoxicating spell on me. I had a job that I liked, my true friends, all the forward momentum of chasing my dream and a girl, who for the first time in my life, genuinely loved me for all that I am.
To me, now, everything seems so simplistic back then. I had everything you could ever want and then some. The dreamer was finally awake and experiencing life as the following months that ensued made me happier than I had ever been at any point in my life. Looking back on it, all those months of autumn will always be for me what the summer of 2004 was - a point in my life when everything seemed to momentarily stop and come together. Simply put, the friendships were real, the adventures were numerous and exciting and love was realized.
Now fast forward to the present, and as I lie here in bed I can't help but think about how grateful I am for those memories. Being on the East Coast has been arguably the hardest thing I've had to do in my life, but it has taught me so much. And while I occasionally still feel isolated and distant from all that I cherish back home on the West Coast, it's those memories of love, laughter and life that get me through. Eventually I'll reach another one of these seasons - but until then I'll be eternally thankful for that brief period in my life.
As I leave, I wanted to leave this song. I'm putting it on here because it's the song that always brings me back to those memories, places and people.
I`ll Be Waiting Video
To me, now, everything seems so simplistic back then. I had everything you could ever want and then some. The dreamer was finally awake and experiencing life as the following months that ensued made me happier than I had ever been at any point in my life. Looking back on it, all those months of autumn will always be for me what the summer of 2004 was - a point in my life when everything seemed to momentarily stop and come together. Simply put, the friendships were real, the adventures were numerous and exciting and love was realized.
Now fast forward to the present, and as I lie here in bed I can't help but think about how grateful I am for those memories. Being on the East Coast has been arguably the hardest thing I've had to do in my life, but it has taught me so much. And while I occasionally still feel isolated and distant from all that I cherish back home on the West Coast, it's those memories of love, laughter and life that get me through. Eventually I'll reach another one of these seasons - but until then I'll be eternally thankful for that brief period in my life.
As I leave, I wanted to leave this song. I'm putting it on here because it's the song that always brings me back to those memories, places and people.
I`ll Be Waiting Video
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Running on E
So lately life's been stealing away my precious hours of sleep. The more it happens, the more I'm finding that those rare moments I can spend tucked next to my pillow in the sanctity of my bed are something to cherish. I never thought about it until lately, but how we sleep is about as close to the reality of a person as we can get. While people have their theories about clothing, music or hobbies opening a portal into a person's soul - I'm starting to notice more that how I sleep reflects where I'm at in life and how I'm handling it.
Right now, I guess you could say that because of my lack of sleep that something must be wrong. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. Lately, I know I have lost more than a few hours of sleep because I lie awake at night unable to turn off my brain from indulging in personal self-reflection - but lately, too, I've been working intently on a project that's now consumed the bane of my current existence.
Whatever it is, I find that sleep is the only way that life can truly strip us of our walls and armor and open us up to the world around us - defenseless and naked. And as we lie there habituating in our own world, those barriers that once existed expose us for who we really are (as lovers, frauds, saints or demons) and truly open us up to those in our life who are lucky enough to share in it or embrace it.
And as we take for granted those precious fleeting moments, try to reflect on how pure it all is. Because before you know it, the alarm clock will be roaring as another day is about to begin...
Right now, I guess you could say that because of my lack of sleep that something must be wrong. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. Lately, I know I have lost more than a few hours of sleep because I lie awake at night unable to turn off my brain from indulging in personal self-reflection - but lately, too, I've been working intently on a project that's now consumed the bane of my current existence.
Whatever it is, I find that sleep is the only way that life can truly strip us of our walls and armor and open us up to the world around us - defenseless and naked. And as we lie there habituating in our own world, those barriers that once existed expose us for who we really are (as lovers, frauds, saints or demons) and truly open us up to those in our life who are lucky enough to share in it or embrace it.
And as we take for granted those precious fleeting moments, try to reflect on how pure it all is. Because before you know it, the alarm clock will be roaring as another day is about to begin...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Random Musings on a Saturday Night
I really don't have much to say, but I just felt like posting something because I've had a lot on my mind today. Over the past month a lot has definitely happened, and I've experienced every range of emotion you can think of. I've been trying to put things into perspective and while I know what my priorities should be - I'm having a hard time engaging in them because I don't want to concede what I know is already true.
It's like someone once told me - you can't worry about what is out of your control - but lately, that's the only thing that I've been worrying about. I'm honestly not concerned with what's in my control, because truth be told I'm that confident in myself. But, it's the very thing that I cannot control that has me in ruins, constantly engaged in a struggle with myself as to what the past year has truly meant.
Was it all just a ruse or was it real? To me it was as real as anything I've experienced...and then some - but it's the other half of that answer which tears me apart at the seams. I look back and analyze every detail I remember and see how amazing it all really was, but then I get lost thinking to myself how could something so beautiful end? How can someone who shared so much passion and love for life with me already move on so quickly, while I am left to torment in the memories of what once was? Yet, in searching for that answer - the reality kicks in that it is something that is out of my control and out of my hands...and I have to sit here and accept it for what it is.
Being alone while dealing with this is something you cannot prepare yourself for. There are friends, but no one to go to - no one to be there for me - no one to help me out. Sometimes it feels like I'm sitting in the dentist chair strapped down while I'm having oral surgery done without novocain - and as much as I want to rip off those restraints and scream at the top of my lungs, I know I can't. I won't allow myself to, not because I don't want to, but because I love that person enough to give them the freedom they deserve to move on with their life. In the end, the only thing that truly matters to me is whether they are happy or not - and I made a promise to give them everything I could to ensure that. In time I'll eventually find it too - but for now, all I can do is sit here and oblige them because those emotions and the time we spent together was real to me. I'll never know how they saw it, but while I sit here lamenting in those memories the only thing I can do is hope they felt the same way too...
It's like someone once told me - you can't worry about what is out of your control - but lately, that's the only thing that I've been worrying about. I'm honestly not concerned with what's in my control, because truth be told I'm that confident in myself. But, it's the very thing that I cannot control that has me in ruins, constantly engaged in a struggle with myself as to what the past year has truly meant.
Was it all just a ruse or was it real? To me it was as real as anything I've experienced...and then some - but it's the other half of that answer which tears me apart at the seams. I look back and analyze every detail I remember and see how amazing it all really was, but then I get lost thinking to myself how could something so beautiful end? How can someone who shared so much passion and love for life with me already move on so quickly, while I am left to torment in the memories of what once was? Yet, in searching for that answer - the reality kicks in that it is something that is out of my control and out of my hands...and I have to sit here and accept it for what it is.
Being alone while dealing with this is something you cannot prepare yourself for. There are friends, but no one to go to - no one to be there for me - no one to help me out. Sometimes it feels like I'm sitting in the dentist chair strapped down while I'm having oral surgery done without novocain - and as much as I want to rip off those restraints and scream at the top of my lungs, I know I can't. I won't allow myself to, not because I don't want to, but because I love that person enough to give them the freedom they deserve to move on with their life. In the end, the only thing that truly matters to me is whether they are happy or not - and I made a promise to give them everything I could to ensure that. In time I'll eventually find it too - but for now, all I can do is sit here and oblige them because those emotions and the time we spent together was real to me. I'll never know how they saw it, but while I sit here lamenting in those memories the only thing I can do is hope they felt the same way too...
Friday, October 3, 2008
The Darkest Light
This is our advanced lighting project for class last month (Sept '08). I worked as UPM again on this project, and although I wasn't ever entirely focused I did help with some of the lighting plots, schemes and shots we used. On set I helped out a lot with the rigging for the bedroom and street scenes - and I was actually the one lighting Jason's cigarette - for which we did nearly 30 takes including one where I almost burned his eyebrows off (I used too many matches and they exploded).
Overall I think this came out amazingly considering the time we had to prepare and shoot it (one week) and our DPs Ty and John did an amazing job finalizing our lighting plots and getting things into place. Take a look at it - and if the sound is too weak don't worry about it - it's supposed to be a lighting project anyway, haha...
Overall I think this came out amazingly considering the time we had to prepare and shoot it (one week) and our DPs Ty and John did an amazing job finalizing our lighting plots and getting things into place. Take a look at it - and if the sound is too weak don't worry about it - it's supposed to be a lighting project anyway, haha...
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The Challenges We Face
Pierre Corneille was once quoted as saying, "to conquer without risk is to triumph without glory." For the first time in my life I'm starting to realize that this couldn't be truer.
For much of my life I felt that it was always best to learn an application, a situation or a person before taking the risk and lead as I allowed my natural talents to take over. But since September 2007, I finally decided that I was going to make a change in my life. I wasn't going to allow myself to be a bystander and follow the ebb and flow of a daily chorus of unhappiness. Change was inevitable as I knew staying in Phoenix wasn't in the cards for me...no matter how much I loved it or the people there.
I still remember the day when I sat in Bruce Samuels office to talk about my future. As one of the clerks working on a few of his larger cases we had always talked about things and the nuances of the daily routine - but never about what we were about to discuss. At the time, I wanted to become an attorney. I thought without a doubt this was what I wanted, because my talents in the firm were being noted by numerous people - and my performance reports continually reflected this. But that day, something new happened as during the course of our conversation Bruce said something to me that will always stick with me. He told me there was a difference between being a lawyer and wanting to be a lawyer. The ones who are successful are the ones who love their job, and then there's everyone else. Before I left, he challenged me to strive for the former - because he knew I was good at my job and he believed in my talents...but that conversation had an effect elsewhere.
Fastfoward to today, nearly 18-months since that conversation, and I find myself in Florida in film school. I am not here because I wanted to pursue something that would have a steady income and a good deal of security down the road. I am here because I am striving for something that I truly believe in - and something that I take great pride in doing. Being here I'm learning more than I ever thought I would have. This is something that I am 100% passionate about and something that I am going to take great risk in trying to achieve, successfully or not. However, with those risks are the sacrifices we must take.
I have always been fascinated with history, if for nothing else than because I am a romanticist. I love the power and courage of those who have come before us and challenged the way we do things. I love looking at their impact on history and even in our lives today - but one of the things that's often overlooked is the price that those people paid themselves. They believed so much in something that they were willing to put everything on the line to prove it - whether it destroyed them or not. I know I'm not anything like those people, but in making my decision to leave everything behind (if just for a little while) I'm finally experiencing what it's like to sacrifice the very thing that inspires you for the very thing you believe in. Going through this experience has taught me it's not a fair trade - but it is the risk I took and the price I am paying to pursue the very thing that I know I am meant to be.
Time will tell if I am fortunate enough to ascend to the pinnacle of this profession, but by judging from my performance so far, I know I have a fair shot at achieving some success in this industry. It's always a reassuring thing when (no matter how unfocused or roused you are) your group/team/crew wants you to run the show. I know I haven't directed many things since I've been here - but I have seen the impact I've had on other people's projects in a producer type capacity through advice, assistance and support - I know I get this business, and I remember and understand why I'm here.
In all of this, the greatest lesson is knowing why I made my decision and respect the consequences that I now face. I am taking things one day at a time, and no matter how much it hurts those wounds will eventually heal in time. I took a great risk to be here - and I plan on nothing short of achieving all the success I have dreamed of...not because I want to be celebrated or rich (although that temptation will always present itself)- but because I want to make a change in this industry for the better and hopefully inspire those who were like me in accepting ebb and flow of life instead of actually living it. Only time will tell if this risk will lead me there, but like all great things, nothing great is accomplished without taking the risk and accepting its consequences.
For much of my life I felt that it was always best to learn an application, a situation or a person before taking the risk and lead as I allowed my natural talents to take over. But since September 2007, I finally decided that I was going to make a change in my life. I wasn't going to allow myself to be a bystander and follow the ebb and flow of a daily chorus of unhappiness. Change was inevitable as I knew staying in Phoenix wasn't in the cards for me...no matter how much I loved it or the people there.
I still remember the day when I sat in Bruce Samuels office to talk about my future. As one of the clerks working on a few of his larger cases we had always talked about things and the nuances of the daily routine - but never about what we were about to discuss. At the time, I wanted to become an attorney. I thought without a doubt this was what I wanted, because my talents in the firm were being noted by numerous people - and my performance reports continually reflected this. But that day, something new happened as during the course of our conversation Bruce said something to me that will always stick with me. He told me there was a difference between being a lawyer and wanting to be a lawyer. The ones who are successful are the ones who love their job, and then there's everyone else. Before I left, he challenged me to strive for the former - because he knew I was good at my job and he believed in my talents...but that conversation had an effect elsewhere.
Fastfoward to today, nearly 18-months since that conversation, and I find myself in Florida in film school. I am not here because I wanted to pursue something that would have a steady income and a good deal of security down the road. I am here because I am striving for something that I truly believe in - and something that I take great pride in doing. Being here I'm learning more than I ever thought I would have. This is something that I am 100% passionate about and something that I am going to take great risk in trying to achieve, successfully or not. However, with those risks are the sacrifices we must take.
I have always been fascinated with history, if for nothing else than because I am a romanticist. I love the power and courage of those who have come before us and challenged the way we do things. I love looking at their impact on history and even in our lives today - but one of the things that's often overlooked is the price that those people paid themselves. They believed so much in something that they were willing to put everything on the line to prove it - whether it destroyed them or not. I know I'm not anything like those people, but in making my decision to leave everything behind (if just for a little while) I'm finally experiencing what it's like to sacrifice the very thing that inspires you for the very thing you believe in. Going through this experience has taught me it's not a fair trade - but it is the risk I took and the price I am paying to pursue the very thing that I know I am meant to be.
Time will tell if I am fortunate enough to ascend to the pinnacle of this profession, but by judging from my performance so far, I know I have a fair shot at achieving some success in this industry. It's always a reassuring thing when (no matter how unfocused or roused you are) your group/team/crew wants you to run the show. I know I haven't directed many things since I've been here - but I have seen the impact I've had on other people's projects in a producer type capacity through advice, assistance and support - I know I get this business, and I remember and understand why I'm here.
In all of this, the greatest lesson is knowing why I made my decision and respect the consequences that I now face. I am taking things one day at a time, and no matter how much it hurts those wounds will eventually heal in time. I took a great risk to be here - and I plan on nothing short of achieving all the success I have dreamed of...not because I want to be celebrated or rich (although that temptation will always present itself)- but because I want to make a change in this industry for the better and hopefully inspire those who were like me in accepting ebb and flow of life instead of actually living it. Only time will tell if this risk will lead me there, but like all great things, nothing great is accomplished without taking the risk and accepting its consequences.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
September
So the month of September classes are finally over. Although I have one lab left on Saturday, I can say that I'm glad to be done with this month and I've done well in the classroom again.
This month hasn't been easy for me, and it's actually been by far the toughest to date. However, that is not necessitated by the difficulty of the classes. For most of this month I've been on a sleep schedule that hasn't afforded me much of a chance to rest. I find that I'm constantly waking up throughout the night and actual rest is few and far between.
I've tried to keep myself occupied by doing research for my idea for 35mm in May - but I often times will burn myself out within the first few hours. On Monday, I finally received the NASA doc "When We Left The Earth" and I watched all 8-hours of it...twice. I've been finding that those men who I've been reading about and literally watching in those docs are people whose belief in themselves, their mission and those around them are the people that I wish to aspire to become one day. That doesn't mean I want to be an astronaut - what it does mean is that those men had a goal and a collective conscience and the support to reach to the heavens and do the unthinkable. They are truly remarkable men - and hopefully I can parlay their heroism truthfully as I finish writing this script.
As for everything else, and I know you wanted me to go to Disneyworld mom, but unfortunately I haven't done much else. I've gone to the beach a couple times by myself - if nothing more than to get away. Unfortunately, those excursions were not initially planned to be solo adventures - but the people at Full Sail don't leave me with much of a choice when I'm continually being bailed out on at the last minute. I'm trying to cope with things one day at a time - and while I do have my good moments, the bad ones are more often than not right around the corner. But all I can do right now though is take it one day at a time and hope that as time passes things get better - which I know they eventually will. But in the meantime - all I ask is that you all please be patient with me, because I know this loathing in self-pity bs is starting to get old. I want to thank all of you for your support (Jen the cookies were a big hit) - and I want to promise all of you that although I might not be 100% focused I'm still giving 100% of my heart to the reason why I'm here in FL.
This month hasn't been easy for me, and it's actually been by far the toughest to date. However, that is not necessitated by the difficulty of the classes. For most of this month I've been on a sleep schedule that hasn't afforded me much of a chance to rest. I find that I'm constantly waking up throughout the night and actual rest is few and far between.
I've tried to keep myself occupied by doing research for my idea for 35mm in May - but I often times will burn myself out within the first few hours. On Monday, I finally received the NASA doc "When We Left The Earth" and I watched all 8-hours of it...twice. I've been finding that those men who I've been reading about and literally watching in those docs are people whose belief in themselves, their mission and those around them are the people that I wish to aspire to become one day. That doesn't mean I want to be an astronaut - what it does mean is that those men had a goal and a collective conscience and the support to reach to the heavens and do the unthinkable. They are truly remarkable men - and hopefully I can parlay their heroism truthfully as I finish writing this script.
As for everything else, and I know you wanted me to go to Disneyworld mom, but unfortunately I haven't done much else. I've gone to the beach a couple times by myself - if nothing more than to get away. Unfortunately, those excursions were not initially planned to be solo adventures - but the people at Full Sail don't leave me with much of a choice when I'm continually being bailed out on at the last minute. I'm trying to cope with things one day at a time - and while I do have my good moments, the bad ones are more often than not right around the corner. But all I can do right now though is take it one day at a time and hope that as time passes things get better - which I know they eventually will. But in the meantime - all I ask is that you all please be patient with me, because I know this loathing in self-pity bs is starting to get old. I want to thank all of you for your support (Jen the cookies were a big hit) - and I want to promise all of you that although I might not be 100% focused I'm still giving 100% of my heart to the reason why I'm here in FL.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Moving On
So I know the people that read this already know exactly what's going on in my life, but I figured I would update this for you anyway. As most of you know by now, Kathrine and I have ended our relationship. I don't have much to say on the matter (and without getting too soapy) I just want to say that she's an amazing person and someone who will always have my respect and will always have a piece of my heart.
I cannot say the past few days have been easy, but then again they never are after something so amazing ends. I will always look at my first months here in Florida with awe and be glad that during that hard transition in my life I had someone there to help me through it and share in the joys and pains associated with it.
----
As for school, things are pretty much the same. Despite the distractions this week has brought about, I scored 100s on all my tests. For those successes though, I did fail in getting my story green-lit for advanced lighting. My group is going to film someone else's story, and although there was a lot of interest in my idea, I later discovered that what I had written was not exactly proper grammar. I guess trying to write something intelligent despite an obvious lack of sleep isn't the best idea. Either way, I am going to re-write the script and see if we can't film it some other time.
As for projects outside of class - there isn't a whole lot going on right now. I dropped out of acting in one of my friends movies this weekend because honestly I cannot focus right now. There isn't anything worse than letting down your friends, but they knew I wasn't all there and they had already made arrangements before I told them I couldn't go.
As some of you know, I have class tonight at 1am - so hopefully I can get a few hours of reprieve from this cycle of emptiness. There isn't anything I enjoy more than being on set right now, and those few moments are the lone bright spot for me right now. I'm not sure, but I think after class I might take a drive to the beach.
I've always found comfort in the ocean - and right now I need something that brings me some happiness. I guess that's about it for now, but apart from that, please know that I appreciate everyone's calls for support during this time. Thank you for everything.
I cannot say the past few days have been easy, but then again they never are after something so amazing ends. I will always look at my first months here in Florida with awe and be glad that during that hard transition in my life I had someone there to help me through it and share in the joys and pains associated with it.
----
As for school, things are pretty much the same. Despite the distractions this week has brought about, I scored 100s on all my tests. For those successes though, I did fail in getting my story green-lit for advanced lighting. My group is going to film someone else's story, and although there was a lot of interest in my idea, I later discovered that what I had written was not exactly proper grammar. I guess trying to write something intelligent despite an obvious lack of sleep isn't the best idea. Either way, I am going to re-write the script and see if we can't film it some other time.
As for projects outside of class - there isn't a whole lot going on right now. I dropped out of acting in one of my friends movies this weekend because honestly I cannot focus right now. There isn't anything worse than letting down your friends, but they knew I wasn't all there and they had already made arrangements before I told them I couldn't go.
As some of you know, I have class tonight at 1am - so hopefully I can get a few hours of reprieve from this cycle of emptiness. There isn't anything I enjoy more than being on set right now, and those few moments are the lone bright spot for me right now. I'm not sure, but I think after class I might take a drive to the beach.
I've always found comfort in the ocean - and right now I need something that brings me some happiness. I guess that's about it for now, but apart from that, please know that I appreciate everyone's calls for support during this time. Thank you for everything.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
The Fruit of Our Labor
So finally I have finished the project my group completed for our Digital Cinematography class. I spent this last month in editing slowly working away on this movie - and this is the final edit.
My group thought enough of it to vote it as the best represented version that was showcased in front of my class and the month behind me as well. So without wasting away here is the movie.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Digital Cinematogaphy photos- from class
Hello all! - (kathrine here again)I decided to post a little blog about some of tom's full sail experiences, since I'm still in the process of urging him to update this site more regularly. :) hehe
Here are some photo's of our guy doing what he does best! Enjoy!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
STS-124 Discovery Launch
So I went to the beach to watch the Shuttle Launch. It was, ummm, how do I put this...FREAKIN' AMAZING!!
Dad, I know you want to see one yourself - so when you make it out here see if you can when they're launching something because I'll take you to Cocoa to see it. Also, we'll definitely hit up KSC...I have my annual pass, haha, no seriously I do :)
Take a close look at this one because the Shuttle is still there
Dad, I know you want to see one yourself - so when you make it out here see if you can when they're launching something because I'll take you to Cocoa to see it. Also, we'll definitely hit up KSC...I have my annual pass, haha, no seriously I do :)
Take a close look at this one because the Shuttle is still there
Thursday, May 29, 2008
New Movie
So I finally finished my edited version of the movie we made for lighting. It's our final project, and please keep in mind it's not meant for the story but more so for the lighting used. Unfortunately there are many errors throughout, but we didn't pretty good overall given the two four-hour classes we had to set up, shoot and break down everything.
Take a look and let me know what you think. Hope you all enjoy!
Take a look and let me know what you think. Hope you all enjoy!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Kathrine tags along to class (May 24)
Hi everyone- kathrine here...
I'm waiting for Tom to come home from class right now so in the meantime I've decided to share my one-day Full Sail experience through a little blogging. :)
Last Saturday (may 24) I was fortunate enough to sit in on one of Tom's last days of Lighting lab. As I'm sure you've already heard, he has been busy co-directing this group's final lighting project, a film called Delirium (or at least that's what I last heard it was going to be entitled). It was really enjoyable observing Tom work in his element. I have known about his passion for film since the first day I met him, but hearing about it through his stories is incomparable to actually getting to watch him work his magic.
Like any other rookie experience, his debut in the director's spot was awfully challenging at times especially because of the tight time schedule, some technical difficulties, and of course creative differences with his peers. Nevertheless, I was proud to sit on set and watch Tom take the initiative to get things done on schedule. (i think he even lost his voice a little. hehe)
I have yet to see the final cut of the film, but I'm sure that it turn out pretty great. (I'll remind tom to post a link to it once it's up on youTube as well) :)
...
Aside from Saturday, my week out here in hot, ultra-humid Florida has been fantastic. I really wish that it didn't have to come to an end- especially now, because I'm leaving Tom looking like a lobster, all sun burnt from the beach. hahah. I guess the job of getting aloe on Tom's back will have to be his roommate's responsibility starting tomorrow. hehe.
Well, that's all for now.
I hope to meet you all soon!
-kathrine.
I'm waiting for Tom to come home from class right now so in the meantime I've decided to share my one-day Full Sail experience through a little blogging. :)
Last Saturday (may 24) I was fortunate enough to sit in on one of Tom's last days of Lighting lab. As I'm sure you've already heard, he has been busy co-directing this group's final lighting project, a film called Delirium (or at least that's what I last heard it was going to be entitled). It was really enjoyable observing Tom work in his element. I have known about his passion for film since the first day I met him, but hearing about it through his stories is incomparable to actually getting to watch him work his magic.
Like any other rookie experience, his debut in the director's spot was awfully challenging at times especially because of the tight time schedule, some technical difficulties, and of course creative differences with his peers. Nevertheless, I was proud to sit on set and watch Tom take the initiative to get things done on schedule. (i think he even lost his voice a little. hehe)
I have yet to see the final cut of the film, but I'm sure that it turn out pretty great. (I'll remind tom to post a link to it once it's up on youTube as well) :)
...
Aside from Saturday, my week out here in hot, ultra-humid Florida has been fantastic. I really wish that it didn't have to come to an end- especially now, because I'm leaving Tom looking like a lobster, all sun burnt from the beach. hahah. I guess the job of getting aloe on Tom's back will have to be his roommate's responsibility starting tomorrow. hehe.
Well, that's all for now.
I hope to meet you all soon!
-kathrine.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Delta II Rocket Launch
So my camera died on me on Tuesday morning just before the Space Shuttle Endeavour launched - and for lack of a better word it was AMAZING!!! Talk about seeing something out of this world.
The only way I can sum up what I saw was the equivalent of an enormous bomb exploding on the horizon and lighting up everything as if it were an early morning sunrise. Anyway, I thought I'd post these pics, courtesy of NASA to show you what I saw...kind of, haha...
As for this video...this was taken on Saturday morning at around 2:10 AM when there was a Delta II rocket launch. The rocket was placing a new GPS Satellite into Earth's orbit and it was much more violent and intense than the Shuttle Launch. Btw, we were less than 3 miles (!?!?!) from the launch platform too!!! Enjoy!
The only way I can sum up what I saw was the equivalent of an enormous bomb exploding on the horizon and lighting up everything as if it were an early morning sunrise. Anyway, I thought I'd post these pics, courtesy of NASA to show you what I saw...kind of, haha...
As for this video...this was taken on Saturday morning at around 2:10 AM when there was a Delta II rocket launch. The rocket was placing a new GPS Satellite into Earth's orbit and it was much more violent and intense than the Shuttle Launch. Btw, we were less than 3 miles (!?!?!) from the launch platform too!!! Enjoy!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Re-cut Movie
So finally, I finished re-editing the movie we shot two weeks ago. The first one that I posted was done by my friend and I - but this one I spent more time on by myself to make it flow better and have less continuity errors in it. The sound isn't as good (I'm still trying to work that on out because it's all still really new to me) but take a look and let me know what you think...
Monday, March 3, 2008
First Poll
So let me know what you think about this movie...and BE HONEST.
I value everyone's comments and opinions and the more honest you are with me - the BETTER the production value and the BETTER the movies will be!!
THANKS again to all who voted!!!
I value everyone's comments and opinions and the more honest you are with me - the BETTER the production value and the BETTER the movies will be!!
THANKS again to all who voted!!!
Only The Beginning
So this is the first post of what I hope to be many involving my time here in Florida. Who knows what will be on here by the time I graduate in Sept '09, but hopefully it'll be quality and not the quint-essential junk most home-made movies are.
Time will only tell, but believe me when I say I'm going to work my butt of to create, write, work in and direct the best possible movies that I can with the time, equipment and personnel that I have too.
Anyway, enough preaching for one blog and on with what every one's looking at this for...the work...
Time will only tell, but believe me when I say I'm going to work my butt of to create, write, work in and direct the best possible movies that I can with the time, equipment and personnel that I have too.
Anyway, enough preaching for one blog and on with what every one's looking at this for...the work...
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